sunshine

Why I won’t turn 26 this year?

2009-04-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

-As a symbolic resistance against those who lied to me

-That hurting sentiments is actually in-human though many perceive it as cool (even ultra cool)

-That they should find insensitive people (like them) to play with and not the sensitive ones

-A lie is a lie is a lie, no matter what compelled us to do so

This is not my first ever effort to resist such people (liars) but this is my first ever effort NOT to CELEBRATE my Birthday in 25 years.

Every wish should take a day off my life! Thanks:-)

So shit happens;-)

2009-02-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life – Standford Convocation speech by Steve Jobs.

For me, last 20 days have been just like a dream – for; some hated me, some loved. Some back-stabbed, some embraced me back. Some said I was a liar, some vouched for my honesty. But whatever it was, I loved my recent collision course!

Had I not met those unreasonable people, I won’t have gotten angry and felt desperate to break free. When I felt so, even recession couldn’t stop me from saying NO to NONSENSE. When I said no to nonsense, I felt confident, proud and bold.

Had my friend not ditched me, I won’t have felt suffocated, had I not felt so I won’t have left the place where I have given my best.

Had I not seen dirty politics, human insecurities, made-up fact files, organizational red-tapism… I would not have known why some loved my attitude and loved to have me back!

As they say, shit happens and because shit happened, I feel like a winner - so what if I am too tiny to fight big guys, so what if I looked like a criminal, so what if I had to defy an institution... I have also defied notoriety;-)

The most beautiful woman on earth turns a year older...

2009-01-24T00:42:00.001-08:00

And I forget to wish her:-) There’s nothing that can justify the crime. But you know what it reflects – that I have become sincere in life. Something that you were dying to see had happened ;-) I was so much engrossed at work that I forgot to wish you. Is this the greatest gift I could have ever given you?

Wish you all the amazing things in the world, yes even a Sukhoi. And you know I still love you!

Santa's coming!

2008-12-24T21:41:00.000-08:00

Santa, only one gift in my Christmas stockings – ‘Make me stronger and healthier, ’cos I am scared of ghosts in Gurgaon, there's the biggest ghost;-) It's too cold also, I am falling sick everyday’ :-(

Another Afzal Guru in the making?

2008-12-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

I don’t know, I am only assuming considering the liberal country we live in. The reference is Mohammed Ajmal Amir Kasav, the lone terrorist alive among the 10 involved in the recent Mumbai attacks who is now in police custody.

But Kasav is no less than a celebrity today – in last two weeks, we already know that the 21-year-old years for mutton and Big B films! He washes his own clothes (someday he may say he is inspired of Gandhiji) He also revealed his wish to live, and see his mother. In short he wants “forgiveness” which he assumed won’t be that difficult.

If we can happily watch Monica Bedi, ex wife of underworld don Abu Salem - a prime accused in ’93 blasts in Mumbai. If we can forgive Sanju baba for the same – and for choosing ‘Gandhigiri’ over ‘Gun’dhigiri – at least on screens. If we can overlook Dawood Ibrahim, who apparently is sitting pretty in Karachi – why won’t we forgive Kasav? After all, we have human rights organizations that are capable of questioning and defying the court of law on lack of evidence against Kasav – like we are doing with Afzal Guru or others involved in the Parliament attack. Our eminent human rights activists, social workers may demand govt to provide Kasav with mutton once daily, if not twice.... After all they have problems with army jawans getting 24 eggs in their breakfast.

Never the less, I see Kasav becoming a superhero in no time – so what if he had killed many innocents, so what he had killed at least a half-dozen fine police and security men, so what if we have lost around Rs 4000 cr during the attacks and much more as its reparations. So what if tourism revenue fell by at least 40% due to the attacks. So what if they have raped our country, and placed it on the chart of “one of the most insecure countries in the world…” This is incredible India, we let them rape, murder, ransack, loot our country and then we forgive them – because we’ve human rights to protect.

Or we let a 'toothless' US agent like Condoleezza Rice to speak on behalf of India -As she shouts, in vain "Pakistan must act fast, or US will." We believe her;-)

US's 9/11, India's 26/11: All a fake?

2008-12-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

A Pak news channel airs the same!

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=OfYlaF5_q1Y&feature=related

This footage from a Pakistani news channel, 24 hours post Mumbai attacks – questioning India’s ability to counter terrorism, questioning Indian security forces and defending themselves, in vain.

They have also misquoted former Indian law minister, through video picked from a random source. The channel’s anchor says “the former minister has declined Pak’s involvement in the recent attacks”. But a careful transcription of his voiceover has a different interpretation: The terrorists are uniting the whole world against Islamist countries by carrying out such attacks – because they create hostility between Islamic and non-Islamic nations. Since the non-Islamic countries have the Nuke-power, such terror activities might work against them and force the non-Islamic nations to use Nuclear weapons against the Islamic nations.

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=Eij5o7XizIA

Footage from the same news channel, where a Pakistani defence analyst went on record to say that the Mumbai attacks were plan hatched by the "Hindu Zionists" and "Western Zionists". He further adds, Indians have failed to fool the world like the US did on 9/11 – to unite the world against Afghanistan.

A word to word transcription of the footage: 9 /11 jo Americans ne kiya tha usko bahut khoobsurat camouflage kiya tha. Unhone media mein perception management bahut acchha kiya . Indians ne wahi game repeat karne ki koshish ki, lekin akal to hai nahin . In ahmakon ne complete disaster kiya isko handle karne mein .

In the 2nd half the footage, a PML parliamentarian openly says India ke sath jung chal rahee hai separate level pai. Are ‘we’ fools to talk aman? She also questioned the dignity of Indian foreign policies? What ‘dignity’ is she talking about when the Pakistani President flirted with then US Vice-Prez nominee Sarah Palin, said now I know why the whole American is crazy about you, and who wanted to hug her too.

There’s civil society in India that believe that there is no concrete evidence of Mohammad Afzal’s involvement in the 13th December, 2001 attack on the Indian Parliament for which he has been sentenced to death It includes writers, IAS officers and eminent Indians and non Indians like: Arundhati Roy, Noam Chomsky, Harsh Mandar, Praful Bidwai, Ali Engineer and Ammu Abraham. Hence Don't hang Afzal Guru.

The Pakistani defence analyst supports Kashmiri separatists groups, says they are a lesser threat than all the other separatist movements that are going on in India. Here we have a Booker Prize winning author who wants India to let go off Kashmir: India needs azadi from Kashmir as much as Kashmir needs azadi from India. Is she out of her mind? As a student of History, I could never find an answer to the partition – but as an Indian, not even in the history, right now I feel we are weakening our nation.

My Q: Should Afzal Guru be hanged till death, only because he failed to kill even one politician on the day he attacked the Indian Parliament?

Does every average and now even prosperous Indian feel helpless?

2008-12-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

Does every Indian accepted death as their birth right? Does every Indian known at least one person personally who is a blast victim – in Mumbai, Delhi, Assam, Hyderabad or somewhere…?

I am an average Indian… I think I am helpless, getting killed in a blasts is what I think before I step out, I’ve personally known some who are blasts victims and I live in an utopian world where I hope politics can be kept away from good governance.

Even as Amitabh Bachchan strongly condemns Sharmila Thackeray, wife of Marathi leader Raj Thackeray’s widely circulated SMS that read: All those who had lost their lives while saving this city are Marathis. MNS workers are busy donating blood, helping police for rescue operations and lifting bodies. Like a famous newsman wrote to Raj Thackeray in an open letter, there’s difference between fame and notoriety. There’s also a difference between loving your country, loving its people and playing nasty politics upon people’s misery – This is what the Thackerays are doing now.

Not just the Thackerays, even others are. Communist CM Achutanan’s frustrated comment on his inability to politicise Martyr Unnikrishnan’s Malayalee lineage was rather painful. The Kerala CM said: If it had not been (Major) Sandeep's house, not even a dog would have glanced that way. This is how our leaders treat our heroes, yet we continue to save our leaders lives with high category security extracted from our pockets.

Leaders like Amar Singh, who questioned the integrity of a police man who died in an encounter while nabbing terrorists responsible for Delhi serial blasts, gets Z-Plus category security cover. Z-plus security is provided by NSG `black cats' consisting of six personal security officers, two head constables, 12 constables, one escort and one pilot vehicle. Leaders like Ram Vilas Paswan who says we should be considerate towards Bangladeshi refugees, gets Z-Plus security cover too. In all the recent terror attacks in Delhi and Assam, Intelligence Agencies found Bangladeshi terror outfit Huji’s links. Huji mostly operate through the same Bangladeshi illegal immigrants in Assam. Can Paswan visit disturbed areas of Assam, or even the ‘undisturbed’ areas, just for an hour without his security cover?

But at the end of the day an average Indian accepts blasts as a small deal, because we have leaders like R R Patil, the just-out Deputy CM of Maharastra who said: small things like this do happen as his reaction to the recent Mumbai attacks.

They got us pants down…

2008-11-29T04:10:00.000-08:00

When the Mumbai Police, ATS and the govt were busy politicising Malegaon blast case. When the Defence Minister forgot to buck up the coastal security goof-ups. And also when the terror attacks have stopped becoming a big-deal in India – until three days back.

Now, it’s a big deal, as shamelessly asked by the Congress Spokesperson – “where was the media fraternity when North-east and the J&K was burning?” Well, North-east and J&K have not stopped burning, and answer to the media bit is – it chases TRPs, even at the cost of morality. If media didn’t chase TRPs, it won’t have gone bonkers with Bigg Boss, at least the most recent event that I can remember - the TV show that turned a underworld don’s wife into a star. Media routinely entertained people with Monica and Abu Salem's forgotten love-affair. Abu Salem is the man who once set Mumbai on fire, Monica Bedi is his ex-wife, his partner in crime(s) and now seeking our forgiveness! The show that hooked millions of Indians, to celebrate and vote for a wife beater and druggist Rahul Mahajan. Here, we are setting example of creating heroes out of criminals... democracy prevails alongside hypocrisies.

The answer to Congress Spokesperson’s shameless comment leads to another comment – Our politicians have lost it all. Leaders like Raj Thackeray who wakes up at a sneeze of a North Indian, watched his Mumbai being saved by ‘Indian’ commandos. With due respect, both the commandos who laid down their lives for the defence of Mumbai were not Marathis.

But until three days back terror strikes were not a big deal, because it was affecting J&K, North-east, common people, common places, trains, busses and not places that can make India answerable to the global community. In less than 50 hours, multi-national teams have formed to investigate the terror attack, PM Manmohan directed the ISI chief from Pak to report at New Delhi, Prez-elect Obama assured a full-support to combat terrorism. Perhaps, India won't have seen anymore terror attack after December 13, 2003 had that been a successful one.

In the recent Mumbai attacks, NSG commandos took 12 hours to get down on action. When the Maharastra CM called our 'Home' Minister in Delhi who was by all means was sleeping at 'Home', we were late by 3 hours. The 200 NGS men reached Delhi airport only to realise that IL-76 (the aircraft) was not there. It was brought in from Chandigarh, refuelled, took off and touched down Mumbai. Finally? Not yet, commandos then had to wait for buses to bring them to places of attacks, unfortunately those were BEST buses - unlike politicians with luxury coaches and politicians who added more to the havoc. Was there any need of PM and Sonia to be in Mumbai after the attacks? The security taken by them could have saved a few more lives.

The combined Indian forces did a thankless job in the end, they were taken back by the same BEST buses, again unlike politicians, rescued guests in the hotels and of course all that was after 70 hrs of intense gunbattle, sleepless nights, fighting well-trained, Pak-sponsored Islamist terrorist...

The Change

2008-11-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

Someone said it’s a ‘Bible’ that ‘every adult should read before they die.’ I have read it… much before death was in my mind! And reading it again, to celebrate Obama’s victory from a country, where talking against “Quota” can brand one a “Racist”. I’m reading “To kill a Mockingbird”.

That’s a charisma, that’s Obama who outsmarted a former First Lady first and then a Vietnam War prisoner… even more when he stole the once reliably red state – a state with 19% whites and less than 1% African American, also a state famously known for two major battles of American civil war – battles of Bull Run. Virginia voted Democratic assuring the Black man in the White House!

On his victory speech, he says ‘Tonight is the answer for those who still question the power of our democracy.’ He did it, despite the middle name that trembles many of us - Barack Hussein Obama.

We, the stalwart of democracy, trying to understand the 44th President-elect who just scripted a history - a history of real democracy. In our democracy, when Field Marshall Manekshaw died, not just Chiefs of Army, Navy and Air staffs but also the President, Prime Minister, Vice President and the Defence Minister have failed to make their physical presence. The man, who recently scripted history, also remains only American public figure of note to have condoled the death of the Field Marshal in early July this year.

When this man is all set to enter the power house at 1,600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW in Washington DC… his wife is concerned about their daughters’ next school, quite unlike our democracy where education is becoming more expensive for the masses and a cakewalk for leaders’ kith and kin. Like Nehrus-turned-Gandhis enjoyed India’s prestigious St. Stephen’s college without fulfilling even the minimum criteria to enter there.

Prime-Minister hopeful Mayawati won’t miss the opportunity to play her card – to draw an example between the African American Obama victory and need of a Dalit PM in India. I still remember a much heated face-off between a Dalit leader and an ‘upper caste’ well-known journalist in Ramjas College in 2003, where the journalist polietly asked, why do Dalit leaders ‘galvanise’ Dalits against Hinduism… where Hinduism has nothing to do with being ‘untouchables’.

The man who brought ‘change’ to America, the first black man to rule the White House didn’t play a race card. Not against the Evangelist McCain, not by carrying a Hanuman idol as his lucky mascot – but just by asking “if our children should live to see the next century, what change will they see?” Perhaps, the only thing Dalit Devi Mayawati or others would forget to play in their next race is ‘the change’ – of seeking for popular sympathy on pretext of being ‘less privilege’. ‘The change’ that I read in an OPED quoting the comedian DL Hughley “To all the kids here, you need not grow up only to be a rapper or a basketball player. After today, you can also grow to be the most powerful man in the world.”

While the son of a black father from Kenya and a white mum from Kansas with the middle name Hussein takes charge of world’s most powerful country; the 62-year-old democracy, India sees its countrymen killing each other… for being North Indians, Dravidians or Aryans!

80 kg RDX, 250+ deaths and homegrown terror connections are not enough...

2008-11-04T12:13:00.000-08:00

To grab space in any of the national dailies in India. “If this was somewhere else… this would have been quite a news,” says a commercial media worker like me. Yes, last Thursday’s serial blasts in Assam – one of those north-eastern states of India, which fails to stand in the fray of news in less than a week.

The fight against illegal Bangladeshi immigrants is on for the last 30 years in Assam. Now, it’s no more a fight. Politicians, researchers, NGOs have learnt to ‘cash-in’ around it, common people find paisa vasool human labour in them and Bihari leader Ram Vilas Paswan has a say in how Assam govt should behave with Bangladeshi immigrats – ‘must be handled with compassion,’ opines the Bihari leader and obeys the Assamese administration.

The cumulative figure of Bangladeshi arrivals since 1972—most who come never go back—is a whopping 12 lakh. An unofficial figure reports at least 24,000 Bangladeshis have been infiltrating to Assam every year. When Bihar was massively flooded this summer, we heard of International water sharing policies with neighbouring states. In the last 30 years, such policies remained research topics for Assam as well as north-east.

The ‘revolutionary political organisation’ ULFA that seeks to establish a sovereign Assam allegedly helped Bangadeshi militants to kill their ‘loved’ fellow assamese. For, they have already found their safety in their new homes in Bangladesh, Bhutan, Thailand or in Switzerland... they can see their 'dream country and its countrymen' being burnt in the hands of their counterparts. Our leaders can peacefully sleep not only because
Bihari leaders do the 'thinking' for them but also because we're taxed enough for their safety.

That's why don't wonder why it becomes a mass-nameless-death when we die, why no one cares when we die, why media don't find it sexy to cover our death stories. It's simple, we are a lost identity... our govt listens to Bihari leaders and our self-claimed ‘savious’ turn hostile; join hands with our killers.

Justify

2008-10-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

Nothing that I can justify to myself - at least not love!
When I try to wash my hands off, to throw my dirt to the sky...
It looks back; laughs at me! Am I fake, am I a selfish?
Who could lie to the sky? I guess, I am fake, I am selfish

The mirror screams at me... yeah that's the ugly me
Ugly, for it being controlled by the time
for its wish to hold back the time and sometimes bring back the time
That's the mindless me? Could anyone play with time?

There's a restlessness - to revert the past, to rush to the future
They mock, the angels... it seems no mercy for me. No reason to smile
The past is to remorse and the future is to end soon
Alas! I still can't justify...theirs' and mine; acts and destinies
For, that's been a selfish me, that's been a ugly me

Am I a classic…?

2008-10-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

To be asked to live only by the history and not happiness? Or a classic case to be ignorant about history? Do I only feel that the entire world is my enemy, or I choose to ignore those who tell me, “don’t meet people who always have taunted you; in public or in person, they can’t ever match upto you.” Yet, I make an effort to drop by on a lovely Sunday evening – for the sake of old friendships!

Am I a classic...?

Who lived by an assumption that I have a-friends-only-world to fall back on, so much so that my folks often complaints…. Like early this year my sister cried over the phone, “why don’t we get to know anything, why don’t you find comfort in us, how long do you want to live by friends ONLY and etc?”

Am I a classic…?

Who gets insulted by people I have met rarely a couple of times, only to say ‘hi&bye’, don’t even feel they are worth being acquaintances. Is it only I who feel the dearth of words like decency, etiquettes, manners, humanity etc?

They are a bunch of people with foul mouths, shallow success and fake personalities with a few international trips have done them bad to worse. Being nasty is not their only forte; they can hopelessly malign anyone… A compilation of various opinions on those who sometimes make me feel how dirty is the world.

But then, am I a classic case…
To make attempts to maintain my friendships with those whom I have known for years?

To be hopelessly optimistic with people who are certified as ‘filths’.

To be quiet when they made a mockery of my heart and soul, of my work, of my madness, my attitude, my opinion, my political stands and nothing as painful as LIFE.

Am I the unluckiest one to be begging here: “Haven’t we all made mistakes? Then why only I get to hear it – day and day out, and more?”

The graceful me?

2008-10-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

No thanks! I would remain disgraceful if it requires me ‘do’ a Rekha, Hema Malini, Aishwarya Rai or Shilpa Shetty etc. Rekha for her bewitching beauty, Hema and Shilpa for breaking their beaus’ previous marriages. In general, it’s like a dwarf trying to touch the moon or me trying to ‘do’ a celeb - same thing!

I would rather ‘do’ a Sushmita, Bipasha or Nandita – again, not their beauties. May be a bit of Sushmita’s class, Bipasha’s confidence and Nandita’s intelligence.

There must be a politics behind one’s ‘grace’… a politics of cynicism? I keep referring to my J-school in almost all my postings, because that was also a place where I lived life to a fullest… for; its royale treatment once you stepped out of the class, not having to see any relative, meeting sweetest friends (and bitter ones who taught lesson for a life-time) and of course for ‘missing-and-catching-that-call’. But that was also a place where I had experienced the cynicism of those believed in an ‘uneven society’ – a strange unevenness that only acknowledged either fair skin or those with a defence background. (It’s a strong statement and I don’t want to lose my dearest friend, you know what I mean.). The cynicism grew, to a level that I had lost my interest in journalism… I had almost packed my bags. Later, the passion withstood cynicism.

I’d spent my early Delhi days as a compulsive-repulsive and last few days in Bangalore as a racist. In my 2nd innings in Delhi, I am also accused of practising communalism under the façade of rational secularism. But I have substantiated all my avatars with facts, reality and my own experiences. On the Dashera Day, I requested my colleagues to maintain Ravana as Ravana and not as Ravan… like Ram Setu gets an ‘H’ added on when I am on shift, to maintain the dignity of their places of origin.

Genealogy makes a difference? I can’t examine, I am no expert… But I strongly maintain my view on caste defining one's characteristics. I wonder why Sarah Palin’s case is different - a woman who could advocate to bear rapists’ child and yet being Princess Diana’s distant cousin. Beauty certainly, brains? Perhaps too much of hockey makes blueblood turn into black!

There are other differences. I have known people who turned down even a god for its North Indian looks. I have known people who defined ‘grace of a woman from her place of birth’. I have known people who restricted ‘ayurveda’ to a specific region.

I have not known anyone who didn't celebrate Booker winning Chennai born writer's ‘The White Tiger’ – the book that portrayed a dark side of North India; does corruption exist only in North India? As much as we celebrated the beauty of a down south Indian state, Kerala in "God of the small thing".

Personalise profit, socialise loss!

2008-10-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

‘USSR is a place where no one had money’ is how I concluded communist economy as a kid, though the concept of kids have been changing world wide;-) I was as young as 8 then. It was also one of those years when India only dreamt of becoming a world power soon – post ’91, after a few economists held up the magic wands – in this context, magic words, such as globalisation, liberalisation and free trade etc.

Ours is even stranger, communist govt gets Tatas to set its people’s car plant in West Bengal, old Congress (Capitalist) loyalist drives Tatas back – the yet-to-born car got its home in Gujarat. They say, it’s way she’s making communist rulers taste the bitterness of their own medicine – once patented, now popular!

Yesterday, after the market bloodbath where the BSE Sensex crashed below 9K level, I headed straight to a panel discussion – to hear what they have to say. One of the panelists was the advisor to the finance minister.

I don’t understand much about market, my understandings of business journalism remained poor, despite my current craze for it. I find it easier to deal with spicy stories related Sensex than the facts & figures of Dalal St. Stories like hubby seeking divorce as wife loses 30L in market downturn excite me more.

Getting back to last evening’s panel discussion, where all the panelists echoed each other on Indian mass media being “clueless” about everything and follows each others’ competitors. It sounded as if Indian media created the havoc or could have stopped it. We don’t think so.

To go a li’l off-track and why Indian mass media still a world class, I must add an example. We have a few interns joined us a few days back from the Columbia School of Journalism and assigned to cover the Lakme Fashion Week. My collogue who supervises them had commented ‘assholes’, ‘they don’t know who Tarun Tahliani is, and here to cover fashion!’

In India, we know who Paul Krugman is. I’m not trying to compare the two, and even if I did… what’s wrong? At my tiny J-school, ‘Watergate scandal’ was taught as the first lesson. Is the media wrong in carrying Finance Minister's statement saying: ‘RBI will act swiftly when needed’. Or my naïve understanding says… RBI might be following the crowd – what China or Korea is doing with their real rates. Even as famous economist argues, “we are a strange economy; we follow the success tactics of all the countries and land no-where”

India booming stories are still doing the rounds… But the mighty DLF residents get to see a large slum across the road in Gurgaon, as one of examples of booming-dooming ratio. Amidst the global crisis, banks refuse to give home-loans to the commoners but the other day a paan masala king bought a car for Rs 2 cr to gift his daughter on her B’day. Did I hear someone saying, a perfect example of “personalise profit and socialise loss”?

While the RBI and the govt is going ga ga over its latest move on rate cut, surely the giant companies would incur huge credits from the international markets. At the bottom husbands will continue seeking divorce, or the wives – as and when they suffer from the high real cost of credits. So when FM's financial advisor suggests us to be less scholars and more humans... we know why economists should start speaking 'our' language!

Part 2: When life hurts, share a laugh!

2008-10-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

It might look like one of those TV serials with reincarnation of a painful soul… as if life is still hurting and she's trying to share – a laugh, at least! It doesn’t hurt; I kept it for those whose lips itches to spread rumours like… “Poor X,Y,Zs cook her meal, carry her bag, take her to her grocery shop… what else? I feel like a Crownless Queen who has always enjoyed this world’s ‘unconditional love’ – for being “you know she has always been a shrewd girl”

Grrrrrrrrr, when do I get the status of a cunning woman? Haven't I already conned half the world by being shrewd, now that I can afford a cook, a servant and get my grocery home-delivered, what’s next? A Chauffeured-driven car? No, last year’s experiences have been bitter enough to not get into such adventures! Strictly.

A class of people never fell short on their motherhood statements, for the ‘common good of the society’, of course. I overhear them, not only because ignorance is bliss, but also because I understand their state of joblessness.

My ‘considerate-nature’ has always been mistaken as a weakness – let it sound like Buddha’s lady avatar speaking! Everyone with a motherhood statement, look back into old times… please prove me wrong, for once. Or, a few can consider clearing their debts, sans the interest?

The last compliment I got for my looks was this morning, before that, it was yesterday! Sorry for being flamboyant, but those who hate my FACE, and can't stop insulting me in public... please ignore me, because your obesity needs medical attention. More than I need your attention!

When life hurts, share a laugh!

2008-10-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

The morning newspaper suggested so; I would share a blog instead, for four categories of people.

A, Those who lost touch with me years ago yet are bothered about me.

B, Those whom I am dying to say, “Please don’t call/ping me as I hate to bar/block anyone.”

C, Those who take the credits in “My Making”, and I never understood WHY?

D, Those who remained there and loved me for who I am – so when I started blocking my Gtalk contacts, only a handful remained. My friend from Hyderabad has already championed the art of Blocking-and-Unblocking:)

Dear all,

I can’t explain how beautiful my last evening was – the great food and drink added more to it but the retro journey was fabulous, to know if we did “the right things at the right time or not”.

For me, for the self-certified fool, “it has always been doing the wrong things.” My only breather was when one among the handful said “But you chose the right Prof to write your recommendation during your J-school admission.”

This time, it may not be the wrong time to ask a few people for a favour – those who didn’t need to talk against me as they don’t exist for me. Not because they have proved themselves to be pretentious human beings, who once claimed to change the world and now caught in their own little worlds. But because housewives (I don’t mind being politically incorrect in calling them housewives and not homemakers) can’t advice a journalist; it can’t get simpler.

A favour from those who thought to have spoon-fed and crawled along till I could walk – Well, it’s a popular myth, and I am running now. If they still suffer from such misconceptions then they should also be blamed for locking my mind – the mind that wouldn’t be a part of any fake intelligentsia, fake feminism, and fake secularism. For that matter, anything that was fake.

A favour from those whom I have forgiven for everything yet would hate to receive their calls or messages. I still don’t know whose virtue it was, and whose weakness.

That’s why when life hurts, unlike others I share a blog with those who simply hated my face, or with those whom it felt like the story of the Fox and the Grapes - It is easy to despise what you cannot get. Others would remain my Friends! Ah, the favour is the Foes and Foxes, please get the 'F' outta my life.

Cheers,
Me.

An eye for an eye, but Arjun is losing his sight

2008-09-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

The national capital rocks again, the explosion that comes a fortnight after serial blasts, took place in South Delhi’s Mehrauli market area today afternoon. Like they warned “before the dust settles…”

Kolkata police took pride in finding a bag that shouts in BOLD letters “Explosives”. Delhi police went in casual outfits for one of the biggest terror encounters - The Shootout at Balta House. Following few days were like as if they were waiting for Delhi blasts to happen to catch terrorists “Thok Ke Bhav Mein” someone defined. At the wake of nation’s bitterness and frustration towards the Home Minister can get us terrorists-after-terrorists being held in Jamia Nagar, Azamgarh, Mumbai… Yet, they are successful in not letting the dust settled. Which is why, perhaps, Rahul Gandhi termed POTA a “useless” law. True and not just POTA, any law is toothless for the police and the govt we have.

Surprisingly only a tabloid asked why the police went to Batla House encounter sans their terror-gears. How the two other ‘suspected’ terrorists fled so easily from 4^th floor without any injuries? Why didn’t police let the media enter the house for hours after the encounter? The one answer for everything: We lost an eligible police officer in the encounter.

Is the govt caught between vote-bank politics and hopeless governance? While the Home Minister (in his own capacity) is trying to review Delhi’s security; Arjun Singh backs Jamia Milia Islamia University’s decision to support Delhi blasts’ accused. Is the so-called secular government is giving rise to terrorism… Don’t question them ’cos there’s no law, there’s only encounter. The govt gets the benefit of doubt, we die in blasts…

Lost in his home ground, yet playing a Home Minister…

2008-09-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

He hopelessly watched Mumbai, Hyderabad, Jaipur, Bangalore, Ahmedabad burning and now Delhi. The terror agency who bears the responsibility for the latest Delhi blasts also warned, ‘before the dust settles…’ More to watch for? He doesn’t bother.

What does he care for? The day Delhi wore a deserted look; he was busy changing his looks! A TV channel captured the ‘hopeless’ Home Minister of India, Mr Shivraj Patil in 3 different dresses during a period of 4 hours on the day the capital rocked after 5 serial blasts.

Shivraj Patil enjoys an ‘unconditional’ love from the Congress Party, little lesser than Sonia, but he is important. So much so that even when the voters of his constituency, Latur discarded him in the 2004 elections, he got the second most important position in the Union Cabinet – Home Minister. He was elected to the Rajya Sabha later in the same year. There's nothing that can uproot Mr Shivraj Patil as he boasts "I've full blessings of Sonia Gandhi."

As a part of my job, I edit our reader’s opinions, 9 out 10 letters today suggested the Home Minister's resignation, 8 out 10 asked why the US never faced a single terror attack since 9/11 and India lets the BAD operation (Bangalore-Ahmedabad-Delhi) a success? Uncountable letters screamed… “We need a law to counter terrorism”.

BAD was SAD but we might have to ALPHABE(A)T with more of such blasts since the govt is busy singing 'Singh Is King', and the king (along with queen Gandhi) are busy singing 'Sweet Child' for Patil!

Call for a fatwa against the global past-time, terrorism or anti-terrorism

2008-09-14T01:26:00.000-07:00

Almost a month back an agency copy suggested news on a terror plot against the UK Queen. The copy came as ‘X’ terror cell 'may have been plotting to attack Queen'. One of the seniors peeped through my monitor and said, remove that ‘X’. I did so. If the ‘X’ is a religion, then it’s bad to club it with terrorism. This debate won’t get over. Like, I celebrate all the festivals of my country… Be it X’s or Y’s but when Salman Khan celebrates Ganeshutsav, religious leaders declares a fatwa against him.

I attended endless calls last evening, even the boss who calls only to shout at me, had spoken to me as if I was a blast victim. I guess, after each blast the cell phone service providers are benefited the most. But jokes apart, a friend over the phone said… “We are a nation of impotents, we deserved this.” I couldn't comment, neither am I a sexologist nor a National-Crisis expert. I am just a common Indian and I don’t want to die even if it means going to heaven.

Despite the fact that anti-terrorism strategies have become a global past-time, the govt is doing a great job to ensure our safety. We find posters carrying photos and profiles of terrorists in bus stops. Or we assume sticking poster across capital’s bus stops is govt’s new yet the alternative anti-terror strategy? Perhaps yes, but what’s wrong in reconsidering POTA (Prevention of Terrorist Activities)? After all, a ministry data says about 4000 people were booked and 800 arrested and jailed under POTA over a period of two years since it was enacted before the UPA govt had repealed it.

Common Indians like me are not against those posters; those security advice to combat terrorism, given almost everywhere – malls, buses, trains, schools, temples etc or dial 100 at seeing bomb-like-polythene-bags on roads - to make cell phone service providers richer. Alongside, We also want a law, if not POTA, an equally strong alternative law.

Can't break the silence

2008-07-13T09:21:00.001-07:00

I am this irregular face in the campaign against Bhopal Gas Tragedy and don’t go there wearing my media cap either. I can’t, someone else is assigned for it. I go there to listen to my favourite singer singing Bavra Mann, He Sajni Re etc.

For a fact, I have de-activated myself when I joined J-school 4 years ago, I was asked to think and write like a journalist and not an activist. It was important to de-activate, because more often than not that you have to be factually and not emotionally correct, newsrooms are also like courtrooms! Now, I don’t find "meat" in social movements, I would rather want to know about the latest gadget that detects G-spots:)

Technically G-spots are referred to women, but wonder why Manmohan Singh found his G-spot, which he visited last week in Japan - the G-8 summit? At a time when his own democracy is sinking, not just with rising oil and food prices, gripping credit and climate change, but also with an unsolved misery of last 23 years. As they call it, "a catastrophe that has no parallel in industrial history" – the Bhopal Gas Tragedy. Mr. Economist-Prime Minister was busy spotting his G8, to lie to the world about India’s food security, energy security, climate change and what not?

The last time I went to listen to Bavra Mann was also the day when people from Bhopal have entered their 101st day of protest – they sang to break the silence. They sang for Mr. No-Response Prime Minister to agree with their demand of rehabilitation 'in principle'. They sang to restore democracy and human rights... Alas! Bavra Mann

Some little people, in some little places, do something little to change the bigger face of the world

2008-06-28T04:30:00.001-07:00

A few friends marched on streets of Delhi in remembrance of the State of Emergency imposed by the Indira Gandhi government in 1975. Victims and supporters of Bhopal gas tragedy are sitting on indefinite hunger strike for 15 days. The most celebrated activist of contemporary India is in the look out of a new issue to protest upon. Some are trying to debate on parliamentary left and left-by-itself. Media is still crazy behind Aarushi Talwar; by the way, Jaipur blast and Aarushi murder took place in the same month, yet no one followed the blast. Aarushi continues to be the hot-babe. (We have every little detail of the murdered teen, of how she wrote her name or how lovable she was!)

Meanwhile, a tragedy struck me; I am branded as communal, because I call myself a Hindu:) Because I asked why shouldn’t there be Uniform Civil Code? Because I called some communist – tailor-made, like a coat made of khadi but two pockets are stitched with textiles from Latin America (Che) and China (Mao) and dipped in Russian Vodka. My friend and I asked why didn’t the great Historians told us about Maharaja Jai Singh – who may have built the splendid monument, Taj Mahal, as Shahjahannama (Shah Jahan’s biography) didn’t have any mention of building the Taj. Nor about the last king of Chauhan dynasty – Prithviraj, who is said to have built the foundations of the Qutb Minar.

The TV behind me is making me even crazier, so much has been happening around, from inflation to marginal slip of sensex, job cuts and price rise. The channel is constantly showing this story tagging Kalyug Ka Krishna.

More to reservations...

2008-06-25T02:30:00.000-07:00

Post by Ankit Khanna

Last week she asked me whether I support reservations or not? I simply said, Yes I do but not in the current format. Then we went on discussing further, followed by her post on reservations. In her post, she nicely presented the case but refrained from passing any views or judgements. Definitely, I am not the expert or the right person to comment on this critical issue, still would like to touch sensitive areas around this issue.

In ancient India, division of labour was done on the basis of castes. The society was divided primarily into four castes, Brahmins occupying the 'Raja' status and Harijans at the lower end. Brahmins were considered to be the people with brains and knowledgeable. Harijans did all the 'shit' work. This led to the greater division of the society in terms of opportunities and standard living. Not much attention was paid to this issue till the time of Independence. After Independence, leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Bhim Rao Ambedkar (a Harijan) tried to address the problem and presented solution in the Constitution in the form of reservations. The underlined philosophy is

''..some sections of the society (SC/ST) were deprived of equal social, economic and educational opportunities, so they are socially and economically backward now. In order to bring equality in society, reservations are introduced to bring the weaker sections to the forefront by providing deprived opportunities across:

a. Educational institutions: schools, colleges.
Reason: Education is the foundation
b. Governemnt jobs
Reason: To bring equality in the society
c. Concessions in fees, fares etc
Reason: They are economically weak''

All sounds good here and then. But what essentially went wrong:

a. At the time of introduction, no deadline was kept when these reservations would end. They can't be perpetual.
b. If one generation has availed the benefit of reservation, it can't be considered socially backward. Agree?
c. Are economically well-off sections of SC/ST eligible?
d. How can these steps ensure change in mentality of so-called socially forward sections of the society?
e. If the college has 100 seats andd 27 are reserved. But the students competing for these 27 seats are less, resulting in lower passing marks causing inequality in the level of standards of education. How to deal with it?
f. If I know I have a reserved seat and i can get it by studying/working less, why would I study more?
g. Now more groups: OBCs, Gujjars etc demand reservation for themselves.
h. Reservations are used by political parties to attract vote banks.
i. In some regions, reservations are now on the basis of religon.

These are few. But the list is long. But i am still clueless on the solution. Any suggestions?

You negotiate. We don't

2008-06-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

"You haven't learnt anything from your ex-roomie. Look at her, she spotted the 'right man', grabbed him and got married before he slipped off," (Her hand? Good job!) says my age-old friend, who also taught me Vedic history like a fairy-tale and taught me to take chances in life, "For worst, you would die."

His suggestion on me being 'not-secured', ie not married (Akeli Ladki Khuli Tizori- to spice it up) annoyed me, but others got a shock! I replied to my friend, "I would rather much happily carry the khuli tizori throughout my life, than to forcefully adopt a false-sense of security – by spotting, grabbing and making the 'right man' legally mine." And quickly quoted my cousin who had updated me my ex-roommate’s relationship status, "she is a successful housewife (home-maker to be politically correct) at X." (say 'X' is a low-lying, down-market area in the capital city).

Recently, the Mint carried an amazing column about 'Sex and the City,' which, I believe, have rightly written: "'Sex and the City' is supposed to be the movie that celebrates the independence of today's women." The movie portrayed such a hunky-dory picture as if there's nothing existed beyond 'color' (that's how they idetify sex), shoes and men - for four professionally successful women. And the only answer I have for my dear friend who is worried about my 'security' is as the Mint columnist further writes: "Get married, girls! It's the whole purpose of your existence…" But my purpose of existence is to guard my khuli Tizori:)

Just when we were worried about this sex’s security, many of the same sex are being killed before they could even feel the insecurity. Forget the rest India, cases of female foeticide in posh South Delhi itself can outnumber places that are traditionally accused of killing women.

I know that you are
Hurt Today
In your heart you feel
A pang

I know in the day
Arrive many storms
You can think nothing
There’s just the sand

What you guarded
Really well
Against your bosom
Very close

What was yesterday
A lucky necklace
Is today a noose
Around the neck

O Ballo! O Ballo!
Why the sadness
This is all cause
And effect
See it, feel it
Chin up
In time
We shall all be Together

I know you buried
Many memories
That you couldn’t
Throw Away

They climb you walls
When you close your eyes
Or when you listen to my
Empty counsel

Everyday you Litigate
Everyday a sharp Debate

Sometimes its guilty
Sometimes you set yourself free
But never a Resolution

You must turn the pages Yourself
You must travel Yourself
You must shape your own script ~~~~~~~~~~ the English rendition of song ‘Ballo’ in Rabbi Shergill’s album ‘Avegi ja nahi’

Quota Inc. - Powered by ArjunSingh.com AdSense: Sonia & Manmohan

2008-06-22T01:49:00.002-07:00

An SMS joke says: The examination patterns have changed in India. Now, Forward Castes will have to attempt all the questions, OBCs (Other Backward Castes) may just write one. SCs (Schedule Castes) will only have to read the question paper, while the examination authority welcomes and thankful to ST (Schedule Castes) for their presence.

Recently, Gujjars are granted five percent reservations. And 50 percent of the seats in St Stephen's College in Delhi University will be reserved for Christian students as against the earlier 32 percent. 25 percent of these will be kept aside for Dalit Christians. Ten percent of the total 400 seats will now be effectively reserved for Dalit Christians as per the new reservation formula that will be implemented from the coming academic session. The college, that has around 400 seats, will also have 15 per cent reservation for the students of Scheduled Castes, Scheduled Tribes, disabled and children of defence personnel killed in war, while five per cent seats will be meant for the sportspersons. If you are a General Category student, go to heaven and ask ‘your’ God ‘why’. If your God fails to answer, change your God. Jesus!

I am not the right person to talk about reservations; my own understanding is very little. All I understand is things that I have been hearing about it. So, I leave this for an open discussion, for my benefit. But I would love to share those words, which helped me build my perception regarding reservations in India.

When I was in final year of my Graduation, I had a group of rich friends – bureaucrat kids, is what we called them. As most of us were confused of what to study further, some opted for MBA. Once, the richest and hunk in the group shockingly said: “I don’t need wreck my ass like you guys… I have reservations anyways.” He was writing his CAT. That was the first time I ever believed we needed economic based reservations.

Last year, a friend and I were generally talking of Caste-systems, and he said: "ek cheez mainey IIT mein notice kiya, yeh quota wale kabhi time pe pass nahi karta, do-tin saal toh aaram se extra laga deta hei." I asked why? He said for whatever reason it is. Yesterday, I had cross-checked this fact with a friend from IIT-Delhi. He said… "Not all, but 90% of them." :)

It’s really a complex issue. Let me be more candid and share more. I don’t have many friends from "reserved categories", but I have one question for those I know. When you people hate to be identified as "reserved" then why not speak against reservations and voluntarily give up your share of "quota"? Be a part of the larger fray!

Cast(e) Away: Vegetarian, teetotaler, famous and private citizens of India

2008-06-17T23:25:00.000-07:00

Thankfully NYT’s Mumbai correspondent only wrote "In the last century, Mahatma Gandhi was the most famous and powerful private citizen in India. Today, Ambani is widely regarded as playing that role, though in a very different way.” And didn’t say the Senior Ambani is being reincarnated as Mahatma Gandhi of this century.

I’m grappling to understand in which different ways that Mr. NYT correspondent has compared Ambani to Gandhi, though I understood the “famous” part of it, but why private citizens? The “private” Gandhi himself stayed in an ashram, which he started as a project for people from different religion to live together. The Ambani is building a 27-storey house at an estimated cost of $2 billion with a helipad in it. The “private” Ambani also wants an airport for his private jets. Privatization of public properties is being private?

Perhaps, his regular NYT readers can understand why Mukesh Ambani is “widely regarded as playing that (Gandhi’s, I assume) role.” I grew up reading national newspapers, and with due respect to Ambani, the only comparison I could make between the two is they both have a Gujarati lineage.

The silly differences that I find between them are: Mukesh Ambani didn’t make peace with brother (Anil Ambani) and vice versa after their father’s death, while Mahatma Gandhi always preached peace. Mukesh Ambani gifted his wife with an Airbus 319; and Gandhi, forget gifting a jet, had always traveled by Janta-class of Indian railways.

The correspondent further writes: "Mr. Gandhi, Mr. Ambani belongs to a merchant caste known as the modh banias, is a vegetarian and a teetotaler and is a revolutionary thinker with bold ideas for what India ought to become." Is he then comparing Mukesh Ambani with Mahatma Gandhi on basis of their caste, baniya?

No-response Prime Minister

2008-06-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

It’s not really a blue moon stay for Chhote Khan and his family living behind the abandoned Union Carbide factory in a colony called Blue Moon in Bhopal. So are over five lakh people who got exposed to deadly poisonous gases from a pesticide factory in Bhopal on December 2-3, 1984. In the last 23 years, more than 23,000 people died painful deaths and those survived suffer from chronic illness.

Union carbide corp., the American multinational that operated the factory in Bhopal absconding from the criminal case on the death and injury caused by the disaster. The corporation was taken over by another American multinational; the Dow Chemical Company. Dow chemical refuses to pay for the clean up of the abandoned factory or produce subsidiary Union Carbide in court.

Manmohan-Sonia govt had set up committee for gas victims two years back, which didn’t deliver a single promise… forget legal actions against Union Carbide or Dow Chemical.

On 20th February this year, 50 Bhopalis have traveled to Delhi from Bhopal on foot. They reached here on 28th March, after 38 days of padyatra and staying on the pavements of Jantar Mantar till the PM gets time to hear their grievances. The PM seems too busy to meet them, though he finds time to meet Dow Chemical only on a two-day-notice.

For the economist Prime Minister, profits of American multinationals is dearer than basic human rights of Indians. Why couldn’t the UPA govt. respond to the Bhopal gas victims in the last three months? Because Manmohan Singh, the top-notch economist, thinks that by giving rehabilitation to country’s victims, he might go against economic prosperity of the country. Whose prosperity?

If you want to support the struggle… You can write/call or fax to the Prime Minister Office. 7, Race Course Road. New Delhi. Fax: 011-23015470. Phone: 011-23011156

Just Kidding

2008-06-13T23:37:00.000-07:00

The World Day against Child Labour… heard of this new ‘thing’? A part of the world celebrated this day just two days back, with or without those children delivering labour.

Two parts of the world have certainly celebrated it: the NGOs and the government. For government, it’s a default celebration. Why NGOs? I always spoke against it, personally or professionally, justified or illogical because the attitude of NGOs (at least 95% of them) puts me off.

A Delhi based organisation has apparently freed more than 75,000 bonded and child labour since 1980. Though we don’t know where the so-called rescued kids go after being rescued, we all know why statistics (International or local), good quotes and big promises fail when it comes to hunger. They all look good in books, reports, air conditioned discussion halls etc, but when the hunger bells rings… then only a few can go on a hunger-strike while sipping quick energy drinks!

The problem is not rescuing, the problem begins after it. Like the quick energy drinks, with rescue of such kids, many organizations get a quick exposure… while the kids get exposed to hunger again. The prospect of earning Rs. 10-15 a day is gone, because we know that the child labour is banned in the first world countries. We know laws, been/spoke in international conferences and all this while smoking cigarettes worth Rs.40 a pack or more a day. Smoke for thought.

Maar hi daloge!

2008-06-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

Tulsi, Baa-Bahu, Mihir are passé. Sadly, a murdered teenager, Aarushi Talwar might become the new household name. Something might become more popular than Tulsi’s saree or one of the K-serial women’s earrings. You might find some secret soap-keeper selling it secretly and eventually some famous ones selling it openly – Honour Killing.

Honour Killing is Ekta Kapoor’s next new tele-serial concept in the name of creativity and Ms Kapoor has already given the the-end to yet-unsolved Aarushi murder case - that her father had killed his daughter for trying to bring ‘dishounour’ to the family by having an affair with their homehelper.

BBI, yes BBI’s (Balaji Bureau of Investigation) creative cop (head) Nivedita Basu, went on record to say Aarushi’s mother can only wait and watch till the ‘honourable product’ is out.

Because it’s a fictional based show… And Balaji Telefilms won’t be responsible for any co-incidental event... Perhaps, a similar looking statutory line can help Balaji’s to go on air. But who will take the responsibility for populating Honour Killing in India? Jitendra?

This and that

2008-06-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

Q/A
I have never understood or could see the lines between many things, such as ecstasy and happiness; autonomy and independence or communism and “don’t practice what you preach.” The title of the Spanish film Mi Vida Sin Mi and my answer to myself.

Buddha of Tibet:
Dalai Lama’s middle approach towards Tibetan problem is for happiness or ecstasy or his failure to reconnect to people in the forgotten Buddha way? But why compromise with China, if it can let go off Hong Kong? The debate is not why China freed Hong Kong; it is why China isn’t freeing Tibet? Dalai Lama’s approach is as confusing as ecstasy and happiness is - an autonomous Tibet or an independent Tibet.

Che of Nepal:
Is the worst over in Nepal or the beginning of a new kingdom in the name of democracy? As the 240 years old Shah dynasty falls and dethroned King Gyanendra, along with his family is asked to leave the royal palace, the Maoist chief Prachanda is now the most powerful person in Nepal. A magazine named him the Rado Maoist, for sporting a Rado watch of worth Rs. 2 lakh, driving a Pajero and wearing designer shades etc. The just-republic Nepal is certainly happy but can learn a lot from Gandhi-Nehru series of undisputed monarchs in India.

Happy hour:
A few days back, a worried friend pings in the midnight to say “you are looking bad, plz see a doc tomorrow.” I smiled. I knew I was not going to see any doc. I thought, this time, let the time heal it (my foot, the left one). Yep, it's healing... just like many things in my head. I'm calling this time 'every hour is happy hour'!! Yet, the title of the Spaish film is questioning me Mi Vida Sin Mi (My Life Without Me).

The size of matter is 0

2008-05-29T03:40:00.000-07:00

Food for thought: The buzzword, size-zero is humiliating to this child and to countless Indians who can't cherish hunger

Why suffer from old fashioned disorders like Bulimia or anorexia? They don't make good fashion statements anymore. Die of the new one... The size-sero phenomenon. The Americans... oops sorry, the United Statian*, have got it right, just right for those kewl breed Indians who survive on cookies, chips and sodas... wears coolers once they are out of their air-conditioned sweat-shops and adopted a new accent in the name of neutral accent.

But why the "other" India is trying to achieve the size-zero status too? Or even talking of size-zero phenomenon now? Quite shamelessly, the same India doesn't talk of size-zero, when it's a matter of hunger-not-by-choice. Well, when 400+journos make to a single fashion show in India, who is left to write about those who don't enjoy hunger? A journalist friend of mine was going ga-ga over his recent size-zero attemps and defined the whole idea with a lot of passion. Wish he had done the same to some malnourished kids... They are gifted size zeros.

Why are we accusing media workers? (The word is commercial media worker, saves them from questions) Ours is a complex country, so much so that the day the Sensex crossed 19,000, we ranked 94th in the Global Hunger Index - and thankfully just behind Ethiopia:) High time our politicians went on a size-zero diet till the next gerenal elections and Jayalalitha for the next two decades. The rest of us can buy long gourd for Rs. 25 per kg and curse Chidambaram. Or get a market analysis saying Ramdev caused this high price for long gourd, as according to him, it keeps you young forever. Ouch, Pond's age-miracle:(

*Urban Dictionary suggests, United Statian is the right way to call them, because anyone who's born in the American Contienent, it's an American.

keywords: Goldsmith. Morrison. Marx

2008-05-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

Why should boys have all the fun: True! At Morrison, on Satday when my friends saw a guy came in with three chicks... They shouted, "saale ki..." But guess who was luckier than the guy with three chicks? Me. Those friends of mine were three guys too, makes the whole thing reversely equal. So I told them "why should boys have all the fun."

Comfortably numb: You thought complete sentences are only news room's demand? Well, a goldsmith's too. As many of you know that I always go to a goldsmith each time I require to change to a different nosering. This time when I went to one in Delhi and asked him in keywords... "uncle, nosering, gold, change." He replied, rather harshly, "Beta speak complete sentences please."

Why comfortably numb? In the context of nosering only and the only thing I miss about Bangaluru is going comfortably numb while changing nosering(s). The goldsmith at the Comm. Street uses some spray to make the T- zone go numb, which was so damn comfortable. I didn't find any goldsmith practicing the same in Delhi or in Guwahati. Even my cousins from Hyderabad are now keen on going to Bangaluru to get comfortably numb. I mean, while piercing the parts of their bodies.

Highschool @ 25: Coelho once wrote rock music was better than Marx. I said the same to my Latin American friend, who's born and raised in Switzerland and speaks Spanish and French and hates those who ask her, " where are you from?" Her answer is "I'm from life." :)

I always mock at communists (Marx or Mao) and look for reasons to laugh at them. She replied to me that her Marxist dad was a political refugee from Chile in Switzerland, who had to go to highschool at 25. Because, the Swiss govt. didn't accept his academic qualifications from the country he left behind. Why did I think I was the only one to start from the start:) But the fact remains... Marx, Mao, Jyoti Basu or Manik Sarkar etc were/are not better than any singer! Anu Malik?

Boss with overflowing love

2008-05-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

Do you know why Bollywood movies are rarely reflective and mostly creative? I have a reason! Last week when I made a train trip to Delhi from Guwahati, I could see why my parents were worried at the railway station. They saw a supposedly "terrorist looking" guy at the platform, and guess what, he eventually was my co-passenger. Doesn't it sound like as if they are highly influenced by those movies with common image of such characters. Well, he didn't plant a bomb in the train, so I am writing again.

Off lately, I think Jab We Met did an incredible job, can make the budget airlines think for a while! The deal is: while paying less, you can be friends with your co-passenger too. And know how, read the excerpts from my morning mail:

from

raj mushari <lover_boss2005@yahoo.co.in>

HI H R U?HOPE U R FINE BY THE GRACE OF GOD. Did u rem me i m ajnabi i dint got time 2 mail but 2nit u r thoughts made me 2mail u 4m cel. Barsha its gr8 day 4 me 2 meet u suddenly in train journey,i never thought that a cute gal will seat near me.i just thought it will be boring like previous journey but thank god it was gr8 journey spsly 4 u coz u r attiatude ,smiles,way of talking etc impress me.i cant 4 got that moment n i know i may never see u again but pls communacate through maìl or cel Any way hows u r works going on? I often come 2 delhi withen 2,,3 months but 2 day i m going back 2 ghy by jet with lots of memories if possible mail me or call me-9718227741ghy-9854153002.pls dont mind if i m any thing wrong. Bye wish u grnd suxces.
Check out the all-new face of Yahoo! India. Go to http://in.yahoo.com/

I planned to do an R&D on how the infamous Lover Boss (Thankfully not Emraan Hashmi) got my email ID. I came to a conclusion that another co-passenger of mine, who runs an NGO in Guwahati asked for my ID. The Lover Boss, with an exceptionally sharp vision had captured it and the rest is up there.

Guys, the Lover Boss is a public property now. Feel free to call him/write to him to scream the B-word n M-word at him anytime, anyday!

Bhabhio ka hei zamana

2008-05-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

It's not F(E)kta Kapoor's creation, but on the same lines - promoting Indian Bhabhi through the Internet. This online sari clad Bhabhi looks as beautiful as those K-serial ones and never fails to take care of you. Just that you have to satisfy her:-) Her orientations are not yet declared in the last two episodes, let's hope though!

The Internet world have changed... It's time for a toon porn star - the one and only Savita Bhabhi. And who knows those Savita didi(s)?

As the site mentiones... (Am sure many have already googled it), she never gets enough of getting physical with men though she is married! The animated bhabhi is getting famous in just 2 months, she is already awarded as India's first toon porn star. Bizarre 'business' of mixing sex with toon.

Sometimes you don't want accept the change, toon as porn felt like a big change! It's almost like watching Spiderman or Harry Potter in porn movies:( Moreover, F(E)kta has already given us so many human Bhabhis... Why do we need inhuman Bhabhis?

Across times

2008-05-11T01:15:00.000-07:00

Missing a word:
I heard it first as a kid during my winter holidays when we came here. I was fascinated. I learnt to use it for my ‘defence’ when I started staying here in 2000. Even a friend of mine said, it’s absolutely OK to use it, as we don’t literally mean it. But when my mom heard me using it for the first time she regretted her decision of putting me in a Delhi college. Now, I am too polished to use to it, but I miss saying “bhenchod.” :) A great author of a great book revealed a similar thought.

O’men:
How can someone remain so insanely himself? An old friend of mine who is popularly hated yet popular for two reasons. He was well networked, which is why many remained his friends. And speaks a lot of shit (Only word to describe it)… which is why he is hated. As I reached, he did welcome me with my favourite pastries from Nirola’s and whatever… But then he came back to his self and suddenly shouted, “Good, so you are back! Now that you are here, please take all your old diaries that narrate your dreams when you were 17.”
It so happened that I had to dump all my personal stuff with him when I left to Bangalore as my mom decided to collect my stuff from Delhi. I felt bad, saw it as a bad omen for my 2nd innings in Delhi.
This friend of mine is hugely influenced by someone he worked with. We all knew it, made fun of him and now it’s painful to see him. So much so that he forgot his own identity… In my words, he is a pseudo activist who talks of anti-globalisation and can’t do without a coke. When he is out on a hunger strike against inflation, see what's below his khadi kurta? That's his nike shoes. Phew! And you have to be a ‘firang’ to get fellowships under him. Is this how we learn to become "no one"?

Gyaan time:
I missed Delhi like an organ in my body. And missed more when I started making blunders, when I stopped living my life, when I started living others’ lives. There is something about the water here (Beer also) that you always apply your mind before the action.
Do what you love doing! Yes, I got enlightened one day and convinced myself to do this:) But a friend added more to my “noble idea”. He is doing what he loves doing for the last 16 months…(precisely). When he quit his handsome job to run itasveer.com, I thought he was an idiot. He still is an idiot, because he says I have the most beautiful smile (I am flattered haa!) and the itasveer doesn’t have a single smile of mine. The fake nawaab!

Chase the rainbow

2008-05-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

It didn’t take "The Zahir" to realize why it was bad, it took many stupid, cruel and embarrassing incidences to know the ugliness of it. It sometimes made others’ lives ugly, sometimes mine.

It grew in me, and became a habit to chase things that I don’t get. I suffered from jaundice thrice and wasn’t allowed to eat junk food. But I always ate them till one day dad stopped stopping me from eating junks, and I really stopped eating them.

As a kid, I had bought clothes that everyone disliked. When I think back, trust me, they were hilarious, something like, satin yellow pants and a red top:-) Mummy suddenly stopped bothering about my clothes, even I stopped wearing them. Same while choosing my schools, colleges, courses and now my name!

But it took only "The Zahir" to make an attempt against it, or to stop it more precisely. Obsession. Obsession for "yes". The writer of the "Alchemist" gave an Arabic name to what is incapable of being unnoticed, visible - Zahir.

Story of a man obsessed with finding the wife who left him without an explanation. Did he need an explanation? Or he just needed to know who he's meant to be. Ask for an explanation - take the purity away from “why you loved them so much”. Or leave it – Because from a distance or from close, they look best the way they are! And “Because I accepted my destiny and allowed myself to be guided by something greater than myself…the Zahir begin to diminish in intensity” – Paulo Coelho.

Cinderella, it’s not your pumpkin time:)

2008-05-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it."

My nani (Maternal grandma) was the only one I could ever relate to a fairy tale woman in real life… Quiet, always smiling yet controlled her and our lives, almost all the time. The youngest daughter of a most affluent family and was married off to a village boy. Like a fairy tale woman she adjusted, lived, smiled, loved us and died! (It only teaches me the art of acceptance, nothing else).

She stood by me when I picked up dad’s cigarette buds. (Logically we learn from our elders) Always celebrated my birthday every year and even on those years when no one remembered it. (Made the best khir) On an ugly Sunday when mom, dad, sister and brother left to Hyderabad without me, she was there for me. Those were the only days when I died to be home. (Duh! they all thought I was sad)

The art of acceptance, which eventually I couldn't learn, my sister did. She withstood the humour when I defecated at school, she saved my ass (ass indeed) when I went missing for hours and everyone thought I was kidnapped. Hidden the incident of me beating guys on street when she came to know about it from her friends. Built bridges and broke walls for me! And now performing the biggest deal. That she does anything to keep us smiling.

Somewhere I read marriages are not by choice, they are by chance. Maybe. On my sister’s marriage, mom’s poet friend gifted a beautiful poem… Something like “curves” as it translated from Assamese. I call it “Turning point.” I knew her marriage was going to be a beautiful “Turning point”, like the beautiful poem.

To turn with… I can’t flick your money anymore; you won’t have to break your head while cleaning my clothes and the bathroom. No one to use your phone like a PCO :) Last but not the least, you always loved making friends… you got a whole family to be friends with.

because God had a reason...

2008-05-02T04:15:00.000-07:00

'Tuberose' for some special B'day(s)

Or whoever is up there, by or inside you… The little tuberose asks the grandpa… WHY? And the grandpa replies, he (I preferred she) has a reason.

In truth, if the God didn’t have a reason, she would not have learnt to say Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. (a memorable quote from Gone With the Wind). Ever since, she never lived a life of fear :)

And for the same reason she knew why they say: A friend in need is a friend indeed. Forget this, what about friends causing you trouble? Nothing actually, since the Tuberose doesn’t give a damn anymore!

“Well, when stars go wrong, everything fails, JUST fails,” the grandpa weeps. The Tuberose felt, it’s fine to upset the stars once in a while, otherwise, she would have always worn those stupid skirts that her mom hates. Kissing her sister isn’t that bitter anyway! She wouldn’t have realized why ‘little pleasures’ are not measured, they are countless. They are not argued upon; they are just the way they are!

“But why God found a bad reason?” she asks… He laughs and says, “because you never listened to human like ‘us’.” “When stars go wrong, everything fails, JUST fails,” the grandpa says, the little Tuberose adds, “you all jumped up to fix those stars.” How could she thank for the endless forgiveness?

Little boy, please don't become an old man

2008-04-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

Who says only Enid Blyton can write about ideal child and not me? My story is a KISS- Kept It Short and Simple.

Many many years ago (Yes, many) there was an ideal, cutest and sweetest boy, he was smart yet silent. When he went to school, everyone liked him a lot.

But he was more famous among his female teachers. One of them, once kissed him too… Ouch! No one liked it, they were jealous.

He grew up, and grew a moustache too… As usual, like a brilliant student he studied and got a nice job, worked hard and left to some stupid country. After all, he took off his moustache in that country. Never mind, he still looked a hunk!

But there's something that makes him special. Unlike us, he gets younger by a few years, every year on this day… It’s his birthday.

It has been too damn beautiful to know the ideal boy. Wish him all the reasons in the world, of the universe, from the moon, stars and the sun to smile - today and always.

between heart and heart

2008-04-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

Life is like that… seen in an old Reader’s Digest edition. True! Sometimes it gives you things things you don't want. It unfolds mysteries and folds back many truths.

Some truths are painful… Not as painful as the one truth, death. When I was in std 6th, my sister’s friend’s brother died in a fatal accident. Back then I wondered how his mom was still alive. She is still alive because life is like that.

When we’re preparing for our 12^th exams, one of my closest friends lost her younger brother while he went on a school picnic. I was still hoping and was almost sure of him coming back. The truth was he was dead. A month later, when I visited her place, her mom treated me the way she always treated me… a same warm hug. That’s why they say: No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear.

Many many years back, may be in pre-school… I remember going to a friend’s place for lunch, she was the only friend I had then. Vaguely that I remember, there was a small gathering and some photo sessions too. She left to Mumbai the same evening. When she didn’t come back in next few weeks, I started asking why? My parents, my sister and my teachers kept saying she would soon come back. I started believing them, so much so that even today I find it hard to accept the truth. My friend died of cancer soon after she reached Mumbai. What makes us hopelessly optimistic? I don’t know, but whatever keeps you happy!

Little that I know about 'truth' is, it can’t always be a great magic... dreams, hopes, silence and untruths can be

from these thousand of "me's"

2008-04-10T02:41:00.000-07:00

What do we do when we are forced to read, not text books but novels… of a language that you can speak, but can’t read or write properly. I read! Apparently, this month is the “paap khandan” month, so I’m in the sin cleaning spree. Listening to all ‘good’ advice and ‘good’ suggestions, and of course finished reading one from that pile.

The book is all about Delhi and my saving grace too J I loved it! Took me back to Delhi days… memories! “Dad, why not St. Mary’s in Shilliong? It’s a good college, I would still be away from home na?” I asked. Mom was just against the idea of having me a drive away from home. In between, we already made two trips to Delhi and didn’t take admission. Finally when I took admission in DU, came back to Guwahati with a hope, they might consider my case and let me be home. The absolutely dumb kid had to go out to learn the tricks of this world. My last words of plea were full of tears, “Dad, anywhere in Guwahati plz plz.” The negotiation was going almost in my favour before my mom brought in the “condition.” “If you want to be here, you are NOT going to St. Mary’s? You are going to X College.” (I won’t name the college, but the college was for Janitors). I was still fine by that. Relatives and neighbours said, she made her parents older and poorer in fifteen days. I know.

I left and successfully studied to become a smart kid! Thanks Maa. I owe it all to Delhi. The 'good’ advice and ‘good’ suggestions were always ‘good’. Later, in Bangalore when I tried defying them, I suffered.

I became self-dependant too, applied my first lesson of self-dependency on my first date. As my feminism was at peak those days; I took my oldest crush to Nizamuddin and footed the bill from my first earning from BCL. We re-composed a folk-song “Humko lootan ko ayehe… Nizamuddin water contains 70% ‘bravery’. Then I started going to St. Stephen’s regularly and sat quietly in discussions and seminars.

Last year in Bangalore, when I wasn’t I was, I became racist of worst degree. This year, when I needed to become who I was, my St. Stephen’s days from Delhi came handy.

My love for dargah of Khwaja Nizamuddin Auliya remained, even today, when I break down in search of solace… I know that’s the only place for my peace. Ecstasy!

Inside this new love, die.
Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone suddenly born into color.
Do it now.
You're covered with a thick cloud.
Slide out the side. Die,
and be quiet. Quiteness is the surest sign
that you've died.
Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.

The speechless full moon
comes out now.

Rumi

It’s about finding children for families or families for children?

2008-04-08T22:05:00.000-07:00

Buddha said: When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky. Mashallah!

When I was sitting at the Bangalore airport, two months back on my way home, I met a doctor, little older than daddy. A devotee of Satya Saibaba and a surgeon ( can’t remember exactly). My flight was delayed, so was his to Mumbai. We were generally talking of make-no-sense topics; life, how-to-deal-with-a-cranky-mom, getting wiser at a higher cost, faith etc. But this man made them interesting to me.

The NRI doctor and his Dutch wife have adopted a son, may be almost 30 years back from a place in North India (let me not exactly remember the name). Later, when the son visited his birth place, he became emotional… Surely his doctor father had the perfect way to describe it. It's not blood, it's belief.

Be not, faint of heart, and grieve not:
for you are bound to rise high
if you open your heart to believe!
The Quran.

The morning after I reached home, I was trying to save my cheeks from kisses! When I couldn’t escape those few, I tried recovering my skin with salt-water! Surprisingly, another aunt of mine was worried about something else than k(p)issing me.

Reason: The Orphanage (Just opposite our old residence) has denied giving her friend the baby they chose earlier. Shucks! Well not this, even disgusting was, apparently… they offered them a different baby who was mal-nourished. “Sister superior is such a b*****, she thinks my friend is a fool? She exactly remembers the baby, her husband too,” told my aunt. After all they are buying ‘something’… why not settling for perfection?

Just when I was trying to understand "Emotion" as the most worthless of English dictionary. I knew "perfection" was picking up. Who can laugh at the sky?

Passing the legacy of "calling for bandh"

2008-04-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

Someone wrote on NE journo forum, “what the hell” in reaction to tomorrow’s Axom Bandh. Shyamanta Kashyap, President of Assam Welfare Society, has called for the Bandh. Whose footsteps is the 19-year-old Kashyap following? No prizes for guessing his daddy’s name. Yeah! The son of former CM of Axom, Mr. Prafulla Kumar Mahanta. The man who entered almost all levels of crime as a CM. From being accused as philanderer to Tea controversy and many more. In my knowledge, even as a school going child, I remember the State saw worst days in his tenures as the CM of Axom.

The fuss that he created during the Assam Movement was for power, with little or no public interest involved, he made fool of the entire community. Apparently, Mahanta’s followers even spat on a famous academician’s face for advocating English language and showing reasons on why we still needed English as the medium of instruction in government schools. Did we know his son, Shyamanta Kashyap, who’d called for the Bandh tomorrow went to Delhi Public School, New Delhi? Never knew DPS taught Assamese. Like his dad always preached regionalism and took utmost advantage of it. S*** is not the word for such hypocrisies. Shyamanta’s claim to fame is his NGO (Assam Welfare Society). But what would be the fate of our State, where NGOs and politician's son call bandh to launch to political career? This is not learning politics. Worse than that, this is passing the scoundrel’s legacy!

Surprisingly, 7^th April is the Foundation Day of ULFA (United Liberation Front of Assam). I felt terrible when a few people, (called themselves as citizens of an elite society) are trying to defend tomorrow’s bandh as a bandh called by the ULFA. This is not in defense of ULFA. This is in defense of Jr. Mahanta infant. It's in his gene; like father, like son… he is bringing back the "bandh culture".

But also like Abraham Lincoln said: You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

I mean to say goodbye

2008-04-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

“Scratch your head, go mad, shout like hell, do watever it takes to get going, but get going,” my counselor turned astrologer said. Stars won’t help, if you want to be fooled. God gave you brains along with those stars:) Probably he wasn’t wrong when he said who can help me if I choose to be cheated and fooled? Is this a killing feeling? Will tell you what killing is.

Sometimes life hits you hard, and you don’t know how to overcome. The term with practicality loses, advice and suggestions sound irritating, you spend sleepless nights and anxious days. So, where is the solace?

Strategizing in real world? There isn’t any strategy to live life, since it’s not a game. But one last time, I want to follow a strategy of ‘Believing’. Believing in what I hate to believe! Believe that the basic facts of love were basic flaws. Believe that no human can be God and they lie tooJ

The killing is chewing lies coated with fleeting happiness. I definitely want to ‘believe’ in all the bad words now: hate, cheat, lie… donno. I will fight memories, but not these words again.

Happy Birthday

2008-03-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

“Move on”, hearing this from my friends for years now… I always replied that with some philosophical (shit), is what they call itJ. When I suddenly felt I’m going to be 25 in next few days, I actually felt they weren’t wrong with their single best advice.

Other day, my father was telling me stories of my birth, and why everyone felt I couldn’t be their kid. There’s nothing that shouldn’t make me their daughter, (except my sharp nose) but there’s a lot that I did for them to reconsider me as the one.

At 25, I am trying to trouble “myself” with something else. The ‘self’, whom I have tortured for last 25 years and that I’ve never forgiven her. She can’t be wrong all the 100 times. I’ve no answers for making her pay for others’ mistakes. And each time I was wrong, I was honest too! I am actually sorry being sorry all the time.

The brownie points that honesty earned for me are over, my impulses, jealousy, inability to accept denials have taken them all. Why couldn't I follow some discipline? Why was I so damn lazy? Few days before my sis's wedding while arranging/cleaning my stuff, she got extremely fed up and screamed at a high voice, "why didn't grow up or you pretend to be a kid?"

At 25, I hate look into a mirror. I don't hate myself… Just that I can’t face the person with lesser success and lesser confidence. The face that couldn’t retaliate; couldn’t grab opportunities, couldn’t settle for the best, the face that never grew up... I own up to my mistakes, and hence, ‘moving on’.

My 25th B'day is very special to me. At last, I've recognized the warning signs in 'hopeless' relationships around me... now I am running before it's too late! Anu must be happy.

What makes them the most beautiful flowers on earth?

2008-02-28T08:43:00.000-08:00

Because they sparkle brighter than the Koh-i-noor diamond!

Vitamin Ms: Make life 'no game'

2008-02-08T03:34:00.000-08:00

The vitamins of life… important ones than those you get in pharmacies! You can’t chew them, you can’t swallow them, you can only live with them.

Vitamin M: Antidote to the killing M-word, marriage:)

The Vitamin-Mystery that keeps life goin’. Who wants all the answers in the world? How did you find out Santa wasn’t real? I only want to believe Santa isn’t a liar!

When Vitamin M improved it became Vitamin M2-Miracle, an antidote to all the other cruel M words… Miracles have a way of happening for those who believe in it, heard of this? I live* one every morning, and then think it’s a ‘WONDER’FUL world, now get going!

Vitamin M3-Maktub: It’s a quick pop-up just before the joy-ride to destiny.

Vitamin M4-Madness: It’s like my age-old chavanpras, makes me stronger against a hurtful environment. The obvious questions regarding life, reality, practicality, future and planning etc won’t trouble you anymore.

Vitamin M5: Mind! It’s all in M5 (the mind) actually.

A year back, I felt survival strategies are not what you want, they are what you need! I defy myself a year after. There's no strategy to live life, it’s not a game anyway!

*live: as you can't chew or shallow these

Unofficial love-affair: Who's luckiest among Bruni, Taslima and Sonia

2008-02-03T22:13:00.000-08:00

When I didn’t know much about novels, I laid my hands on Lazza (Shame), Taslima Nasrin’s only book I ever read. Well, it was a great-read, but I liked the concept of a Muslim writer talking openly of anti-Hindu riot in her own country (Bangladesh).

The book subtly indicates that communal feelings were on the rise, the Hindu minority of Bangladesh was not fairly treated after the demolition of Babri Masjid in India. In 1992, when I was just 9 I guess, I funnily remember the whole name of the riot and still re-collect it that way, “Ram janambhumi Babri Masjid”. (Quite secular way to remember it) But little that I knew of that riot was, Muslims have butchered cows and threw cow fleshes in front of Hindu houses in some parts of India.

Taslima makes news in India once in a while, this time she made it bigger. She was forced to leave Kolkata after a protest by a Muslim organisation against her continued stay in India turned violent. Later, she was taken to AIIMS for being poisoned.

And what didn’t make news was, French President Nicolas Sarkozy not allowed to confer Prix Simone de Beauvoir (France's most prestigious literary award) to her on his visit to India.

Forget Taslima, she isn’t as lucky as Soniaji or Bruni anyway (Nothing fairer than white-skin in India) There’s a fundamental difference between Bruni and Taslima, which is why, both are haunted by the secular country… one to leave the country and other to visit the country. And hours before (Jan 26) French PM's scheduled visit to India, the suspense over his then girlfriend was killing. When Bruni begged off the ‘official’ trip of her PM bf on pretext of them being ‘not married’ disappointed the ultra kewl Indian diplomats. The same diplomats who ‘politely’ declined the conferment of top French award for Taslima during French PM’s visit.

Why: The event would attract opposition of Islamic groups. Indian Government also expressed the view that riots could flare up. As if they care so much about riots! Why wouldn't girlfriend accompanying French PM to India and posing in-front of Taj Mahal lead to unrest? Why Indian police raid hotels and public parks to arrest young couples? Can't they 'unofficially' express love?

What is so luring about white skin? Thank God Bruni didn’t come… or if she comes in the future, Soniaji should personally give a few tips to 'heart-wrecker Bruni' on how to (wo)man-handle Indian men.

Heard of a song? Mandir, Masjid, Girja Ghar ko baat liya Bhagvaan ne, Dharti baati, Sagar bata, mat bato insaan ko…

Explain: Why red is red?

2008-01-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

You haven't lost your smile, it's under your nose

As much I love SRK, for his charming smile… I’m also fond of those oneliners that he throws once a while. The best quoted was by Anupama Chopra in her SRK biography. I may be stubborn and an idiot, but it works for me.

Trust me; it works tremendously to act like idiotic stubborn, times when you need to release yourself from suffocating situations. When you are suffocated with questions, and hate to answer them, being Shah Rukh can help you!

I mostly go stubborn and idiot when I need to defy the whole world for their valuable (yet free) suggestions. I listen to my heart when it’s a matter of my heart (The only time I do) and makes me superrrrrrrrr happy. From my heart to my happiness, I only need myself and none.

Today, while reading the newspaper, SRK's words caught my attention again. I don’t like being told what to do. Wonder why most people can’t value human liberty? It’s like you don’t want to be accountable for living your life. I can't explain why I am I am, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't know how to:(

Now I know why It’s my life is a sung-to-death song, and even non-english speakering junta try to sing it, if nowhere else than in bathrooms.

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted No silent prayer for the faith-departed I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd You're gonna hear my voice When I shout it out loud… It’s my life…

I can either shout or pee

2008-01-31T04:12:00.000-08:00

Is silence a pan-Indian habit? I mean keeping quiet when one requires speaking out?

I have faced many, but the most recent was more itching than mosquitoes. It’s like this, you have spent a whole night in a non-AC bus and then in the morning before reaching your destination, you are asked to get down of the bus. Reason: There are only 9 odd passengers to that particular place in Kerala, and others are going somewhere else. So, you all better figure out your own ways… (They didn’t ask us to figure out ways, am only talking from their minds)

I guess it’s not about silence, as in what would you do when neither can you speak/understand the language nor could take the sh** of having to got down before your actual stop. I shouted! After all, it’s pissing (Hell, I needed to pee too after finishing a 10 hour long journey).

I shouted as I realized to express your anger you don’t need to know a language. It’s like language of love and vice versa. My act ashamed my friends, which I give a damn… But can’t give a damn to the popular silence.

I was asked to keep quiet as my friends felt those bus assistant would use abusive language on me. Let them, even I would if need be! A street fight is 100 times better than being silent over stupidity. Silence is as betrayal as a crime. Only in matters of heart, silence may help you. (Amen though)

When provocative Nobel Prize winner Orhan Pamuk stood against injustice and broke the silence saying that “one million Armenians and 30,000 Kurds were killed in those lands and nobody but me will talk about it,” he was charged with denigrating the Turkish national identity and insulting Turkishness. What Pamuk showed was that a human being cannot keep quiet and not be concerned about what is happening around.

Well, I am not trying to compare my tiny act with Pamuk’s greatness. But I am inspired of this outspoken writer, for his words that can speak too.

I've sinned

2008-01-29T23:22:00.001-08:00

It's a big deal

A new question has cropped up. Is it due to vanity that I do not believe in the existence of an omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient God? I had never imagined that I would ever have to confront such a question, wrote Bhagat Singh (The freedom fighter)

And when read Bhagat Singh’s essay titled: Why I Am An Atheist? I questioned my own faith in God like an ardent believer and often resort to God with the hope that, she (God can be a woman as well) would wash my sins off, if I’ve sinned* at all. And who do God entertain? Like I wondered as a kid how are those marwaris so rich after conning people in the name of Goddess Laxmi. I saw them coming to temple everyday. When I scored less in school, I asked God why even after praying am scoring low, and those people are growing richer:) Aries kids are stupid anyways, I heard Hanuman was an aries too, and wanted to eat the Sun as a kid:)

Then, they kill in the name of God too. Gujarat of 2002 remained the greatest example of it. Why let humanity kneel in fear? Why let the whole universe tremble?

But who decides the wrongs and rights? Let me answer Bhagat Singh that I found an omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient God inside me. Vanity has nothing to do with this, conscience has! That decides everything, and answers us too.

Bhagat Singh later explained: 'Belief' softens the hardships, even can make them pleasant. In God man can find very strong consolation and support. Without Him, the man has to depend upon himself. To stand upon one's own legs amid storms and hurricanes is not a child's play. At such testing moments, vanity, if any, evaporates, and man cannot dare to defy the general beliefs, if he does, then we must conclude that he has got certain other strength than mere vanity.

Can we chain humans in the name of God? Some say God is Love apparently? Why do we hurt them then? Or expect so much because we thought we love them. I only felt let Humanity be the other name of God or Love or whatever.

Just loved these lines: मस्जिदें हैं नामाजियों के लिए अपने घर में कहीं खुदा रखना... Masjiden hain namaaziyon ke liye apne ghar mein kahin khuda rakhnaa

*Sinned: Sir Charles Napier, upon taking the province of Sindh said “I have sinned.” But he only meant, now I have sindh:)

Sunsign: Who shines in the morning

2008-01-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

This will come handy in case you have broken up, or planning to do so. For example, if you are an aries, and going out with say a Taurus for many years, or you have presumed that you guys have been seeing each other. Read this for some sooting feeling...

Aries: I know, it will be hard for you, you will miss me, you'll suffer, you may possibly even fall to drugs. There's no other way I'm affraid. I'm leaving. Now you can commit suicide.

*I am an aries, come on, who wants the challenge?

Taurus: Should we reconsider it ? I think we should think it over again. Shall we go for a coffee and talk about it ?

Hmmm, My life-time experience says, they rarely consider, forget reconsidering

Gemini: Been scratching my head all day I forgot I had something to say. Ah, yes! We're breaking up. Ok got to go to the gym now.

Jaydeep, you surely did:) Rashmi, did you ever?

Cancer: I have something to say. Been thinking of it for the last 2 years but not sure still. I think I want us to break up. What do you think ?

Must not be untrue

Leo: You're still here ? Have I not broken up with you last week ? Eh? you're not John ? Oops sorry, well we're breaking up.

Donno

Virgo: We're breaking up. Just wash the dishes before you go. And don't forget to take the rubbish out too while you're leaving.

Hahahahaha, ran outta words. Virgos are good at scanning old bills after break ups. But one that I know have asked his ex girl to give back his book. Can you beat that:)

Libra: Basically, I have a relationship with another guy as well for the last 1,5 years. But I don't want to put a pressure on you. Take your time.

Majush, waiting for your expert comments plz

Scorpio: We may have broken up, I may even be seeing other people but YOU will see no one. EVER!!

Aha, yes yes, she went out with (donno how many) and blah blah... I won't name her!

Sagittarius: Come on now, breaking up ? Too much hassle. Leave it. Let's arrange some other time to talk about it.

Kunwar, just say yes to this:)

Capricorn: I've already seen my lawyer and the divorce papers are ready for you to sign. What ? We're not married ?

Sri, forgot the famous Capri:(

Aquarius: Message on the answer machine "My dear, I'm leaving for safari in Africa, I'll be back in 6 moths, so I guess we breaking up ?"

My aqua woman hanged on for several years, went through pain, disaster and what not, finally left a similar looking message

Pisces: Farewell my ultimate passion. Bye bye my biggest love. I have no tears to cry, no words to speak. I'm off for a drink.

Well, my fav Prof. (a piscean) is close-to this

Reference: Majush, my online zodiac guru from Singapore, putting this up without his permission:)

Going single: Don't read unless you're a smart woman

2008-01-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

"It is only poverty that makes celibacy contemptible. A single woman of good fortune is always respectable."

I realized my essay writing ability is going down. I was thinking of a topic, just before my friend suggested, write on ‘being single’

It’s a bliss only smart women can realize… boasts my friend Devasmita. She gave me the pros (negligible) and cons (loads) of going single. I take her words. After all, she’s cherishing her singlehood for more than 2 years now.

Why in an independent country, we women often feel trapped? Go single; you would know what freedom is about. In a situation between so-called security (of having a guy) and freedom, I would choose the later and why?

1 You won’t have to lie to your boss to go out on a sudden date, hence; your appraisals won’t ever be a due.

2 You won’t feel bad when your counterpart don’t opt for a leave when you’re dying to go on a date.

3 You will not feel (bad/sad/scared) to switch off your cell phone when you are shit tired of work. No one’s there to accuse you, “where the F&%$ were you?”

4 You can wear anything and everything, (yes, the cleavage-showing dress too). The purpose of wearing the dress is not to impress anyone, just that you are fascinated to wear it.

5 Healthwise: It’s good. Now you can openly flirt, which means, more smile, more smile… more happy-ness, more happy-ness leads to a healthy long life:)

6 Healthwise 2: In case, you have been living in an insecurity due to your partner, you end up skipping your food, resort to alcohol. Situation: More alcohol, less food. Result: Bad health. Think of a reverse situation, just by flipping your status to a single.

7 Have you been hating to answer? Like I did. I mean, since the time we were born, writing answers for exams, answering our parents, at work, to bosses. Damn! Do you want to be answerable to more people?

8 It’s a feel good factor, trust me… and being single is an in-thing too. Like, if you have a maid, who is not married, ask her, she surely has a guy. And if she is married, ask her how many? What am sayin’ is almost everyone has a guy, why being everyone?

Singlehood comes with a bonus and how: Your parents’, whom you have boasted of your “new-found-guardian”, now know their kid daughter needs them; they will be more considerate with their cash, card, and time and love…

With love to all my friends who are getting married shortly, to have a husband is more than a bliss (I suppose)

Anyone Here Been Raped and Speaks English?

2008-01-21T21:21:00.000-08:00

This question was shouted out to just rescued European survivors of a siege at Stanleyville in eastern Congo as they disembarked from US Air Force C-130s landing. It’s a title of war correspondent Edward Behr's memoirs.

When I studied journalism, this used to be the text book for the “Ethics of journalism”. When I read it then, I almost felt, this was most hyped book ever. But when I practiced journalism though briefly, that too for a tabloid, I realized, the book was a true account.

Selfishness is what defines many things, in most professional as well as personal lives. Just remembered my DU prof. often preaching on the virtue of being selfish. But what about being harmful while achieving those virtues?

The morning followed by Benazir Bhutto's assassination, who expected to see Dhirubhai Ambani on the front page of India’s apparently-highest-circulated-newspaper? Bhutto who was known for her secular credentials in Muslim-dominated Pakistan. Is that the kind of responsibility we carry for our neighbouring country?

Let's talk of ultra publicity then, like the the free publicity Indian media gave to the 'Nano'! Even Rajnikanth's Shivaji had not got so much of it. Only a part of foreign media told us that most-loved 'Nano' may not meet International standards of fuel-emission, to add more to the air pollution.

And of course, how can we forget a reporter asking a son after his father was dead in the Rajdhani train accident in 2003: “How are you feeling?” Waw! We were told, there are no stupid questions, there can be only stupid answer… Anyone wants to contest this:)

For once it made sense...

2008-01-21T05:52:00.000-08:00

Wings of dream: Angels can fly because they carry no burdens

What you said on a lazy Sunday, is the only thing making sense to me today. "What you expect from God, don't expect from human being". Thanks uncle!

It takes a lot to be a daughter, and much more to be a mother

2008-01-20T20:50:00.000-08:00

Every child is special, so is every mother

A great saint once suggested, "why should we talk ill of her, who gives birth to kings”… We are only killing her. Recently I was reading a report of what they call a ‘landmark case’. For the first time in India a court has taken assessment of psychologists who counseled a rape victim as evidence. It’s a story of a daughter who was repeatedly raped by her father when she was little over 10 years. For me, it’s a ‘case of landmark’ because her mother stood by her.

40 per cent of married Indian women regularly experience spousal violence in India. Where women don’t stand by women against men’s violence, and where most women don’t even utter a word against their husbands; there, a mother fights for her daughter’s justice, indeed is a marker. The mom further recalls, “the cops often asked me to drop the case after my husband falling at my feet in their presence.” And sent her husband to seven years rigorous imprisonment on December 21st, 2007. (A verdict by a Delhi court).

In our country, 2000 girls go missing, 50 are raped and 480 subjected to molestation and abduction everyday. The silent victims of societal prejudice, this has resulted in a drastic imbalance in the sex-ratio between girls and boys. Surprisingly, the ratio is more evident among the educated, urban and well-to-do families.

No one expects this statistics to help much; domestic violence is raising more with education. The old saying turns true many times, Women can be their own worst enemy. But what about being your own enemy? Is there a ‘martyr’ image associated in being assaulted, kicked, slapped and rapped by men and yet keeping quiet? I felt yes! And what image do we wear, when we’re cheated by men? Perhaps, an idol of love. This time, I just want to sing loud with Bob Marley: Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!

In the game of sincerity, I always lost

2008-01-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

They blamed me of outsourcing tension (that’s what my friends call it). I just don’t understand why I can’t take things as matters of life or death? Like most of them, as if the world gonna crumble today, or be skeptical about the world around as if everyone is a criminal:)

I wish I could shiver at my boss's chilly questions (come on they are chilly), like all the others' in the office.

Damn, why didn’t I get scared of walking alone on a street where almost every man was out with Arak. “Baba can’t u call that Chinappa (the watchman) to pick u up; do u want me to die of a heart attack?” No, I didn’t want him to die.

But then, I laughed at my dean’s concern when I reached hostel in midnights. Why can’t I take life seriously, what if someone had abducted me? No, I have full faith in my quality of being irritating. I would always be dropped back safely by my kidnappers:) All my buddies from IIJNM know, why not calling Chinappa was a right decision anyday... He was a watch-man in real sense:)

“Barsha, start taking of life seriously, think of getting married… how long will u be like this?” I don’t remember who all said this to me, and how many times? God, send me some pills of sincerity plz!

I was (un) fortunate enough to come across a bugger, who suffered from a huge complex. Didn’t know which one; inferiority or superiority? Despite, him having an atrocious accent, (forget language) he just couldn’t correct himself. Okie, for this I blame (or thank) my dad. He always says, with fools u shouldn’t try winning pettiest of battles. Dad, now I've lost the spirit of winning itself. I am just fine by anything and everything. Guess what? That jackass not just won all the time but also turned me into a racist.

One of my trade secrets at the TPO (Tension Process Outsourcing): Just leave an sms saying, am taking 10 sleeping pills and then switch off your phone. My only misfortune is, my client understood the trick and stopped buying it. Whatever said and done, I love my business of outsoucing tension, it gives me a goodnight sleep:)

Love hurts and how it does!

2008-01-17T02:27:00.000-08:00

You weren’t there, when I needed you most

And time convinced me that, you won’t be there, when I would need you most

You fail to see my tears, you fail to see my smile

You don’t understand a bit

You aren’t as crazy I am, as I was

I stand next to all your preferences (material and otherwise)

You never correct me, or you don’t have the courage to correct me… You tried to find a good riddance in my mistakes

You don’t remember a bloody thing about us

You don’t die to see me, you don’t die to meet, and you don’t die to talk to me

AND YOU NEVER SAW THE SUNSET WITH ME AS YOU HAD PROMISED

Why I hate to be a journalist?

2008-01-16T22:45:00.000-08:00

A student survival guide: To Kill a Mockingbird, is one of my favourite books

Very strong words… hate and journalist. Let me rephrase, why I hated to be a journalist after I joined a J-School? Well many reasons. I mistook or assumed journalism to be bold, true, loud and straight from the heart. It wasn’t so. It was a business of show-off, ultra-strong attitude and cowards.

I have seen people, at the J-school and outside, who kept quiet at obvious injustices. I know I am no one to judge what’s fair and what’s not. But when I said, they were obvious, they actually were obvious.

I felt, I was better as a wannabe journalist in DU. I wrote from heart if nothing else. Naming my Dean (Prof. Sagar) responsible for my disinterest in journalism isn’t a bold, I know. But inking on how he did it, would be speaking my mind out loud.

It took me days to figure out a Journalism school in India to study, took me months to convince my father to pursue it further. I did all successfully and got myself enrolled. In just a few months, my passion went to dogs. I don’t hold him responsible for not making me a good journalist (Probably, I wasn't meant to be), but definitely for killing a 'passion'.

He killed each POTENTIAL, INTERESTING, IMPORTANT stories of mine, with no valid reasons. How I wished, Aamir of Taare Zameen Par lived in every teacher’s heart.

By the way, I was kidding when I said, I was not meant to be good journalist. I still am. We live in Ekta Kapoor’s world of tele-soapism, everyone gets a re-birth, so was my passion:) There indeed was an Aamir of Taare Zameen Par in KP. He might have forgotten, but I remember him saying I can be a good journalist. This man knows to nourish every passion, his own and all the others with him. And from him I’ve learnt, it’s important to be a good human than a good ‘anything else’. Thanks KP.

The Touch of Madness

2008-01-15T22:54:00.000-08:00

My share of madness: When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am

With due respect to those who don’t have it and those who pretend to have it. I have categories a few friends who bear a touch of madness to the utmost…

She claims to be my friend turned sister, but I saw her being my ringmaster in many occasions. It takes a lot to hang on to me, she did. However, this doesn’t make her mad. What makes mad is, her ‘passion’. When I saw Serendipity and heard this: You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?" I remembered Anu. She has always remained a woman of word as much as a woman of passion.

Can you ever vanish one fine day with few hundred rupees in your hand without knowing how to come back? And all because you were madly in love! Sri did it. Guess what? She still cherishes that. Of all the madness of hers that I have experienced, she did ‘things’ that she believed. So what if we have scored badly in J-school, if ‘journalism’ requires crazy ideas, we possess them too.

When I met her after three years, she was still the same. I didn’t feel lost anywhere, I felt the same connectivity. Pragya, one of my best friends, knows how to unleash herself. No one can touch your heart to the deepest, like she does! Understands every bit of human emotions and just ignorant to the cunning world. Touch of madness can alter her name. This cute thing of mine is almost like… let them cheat me, as long as am happy!

Rechristened himself to Vodka, Peter Scotch (Donno how he handles both, I would puke immediately). The gigantic Abhirr is a true journalist in my mind. Lives for journalism, booze, food (of course). Never seen anyone with a heart of gold, I believe he has one with diamond. One gotta be mad to make everyone comfortable around you, unless he is a magician.

How do we live in a world of pessimism, where dreams shatter much before one realizes it was a dream? All my ‘mad’ friends know how to turn them into optimism, they collected pieces of their crushed dreams… sometimes pasted them together, sometimes hidden them inside a treasure of memory. But they all inspire me to remain ME forever!

To be special or to be not!

2008-01-13T22:41:00.000-08:00

Last evening was nice, going by my usual Sunday standards... Spending time with a friend at Cafe Coffee Day sipping s(h)ame old Cappuccino. We discussed almost everything; food, drinks, spelling and pronunciations, job etc. Suddenly my friend asked me what makes me special?

Well, it's a BIG question. I always thought, I'm a very special person, and a lot of things that I die to see in others are in me. Am I flaunting?

2008, unlike all the astrology sites claimed, has not been a hunky-dory year in last 14 days. So, I gonna list down the best qualities in me, as a 'feel-good' factor, and I know my post won't be used for matrimonial purposes :) And I must show the flip sides of having those 'qualities'

Being candid: Not the best thing to be! You will be cheated almost all the time. You will feel terrible, but then old habits die hard, and you would remain candid forever, and u'll be cheated forever too :(

Understand everyone: Should not, why? Because when you understand everyone, or pretend to understand them to make them feel better. There comes a time when people start thinking you were born to nod your head.

Always say 'Yes': Don't say yes, unless you have in abundance. Some will go to 'coma' when u are in need.

When u stand by them: Naturally you expect them to stand by you. (Unless you are God) and would be hugely disappointed to see them joining hands with your 'trouble-makers'.

But heck! 'Imwhatiam', I would still want remain 'special' with being candid, wish to understand everyone, always want to say 'yes' even when I don't have and will stand by them. So, I have decided to keep away those who have the potentials to make me un-special in the future.

Those white orchids are for my dearest friend's mom and her good health.