It’s about finding children for families or families for children?

Buddha said: When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky. Mashallah!

When I was sitting at the Bangalore airport, two months back on my way home, I met a doctor, little older than daddy. A devotee of Satya Saibaba and a surgeon ( can’t remember exactly). My flight was delayed, so was his to Mumbai. We were generally talking of make-no-sense topics; life, how-to-deal-with-a-cranky-mom, getting wiser at a higher cost, faith etc. But this man made them interesting to me.

The NRI doctor and his Dutch wife have adopted a son, may be almost 30 years back from a place in North India (let me not exactly remember the name). Later, when the son visited his birth place, he became emotional… Surely his doctor father had the perfect way to describe it. It's not blood, it's belief.

Be not, faint of heart, and grieve not:
for you are bound to rise high
if you open your heart to believe!
The Quran.

The morning after I reached home, I was trying to save my cheeks from kisses! When I couldn’t escape those few, I tried recovering my skin with salt-water! Surprisingly, another aunt of mine was worried about something else than k(p)issing me.

Reason: The Orphanage (Just opposite our old residence) has denied giving her friend the baby they chose earlier. Shucks! Well not this, even disgusting was, apparently… they offered them a different baby who was mal-nourished. “Sister superior is such a b*****, she thinks my friend is a fool? She exactly remembers the baby, her husband too,” told my aunt. After all they are buying ‘something’… why not settling for perfection?

Just when I was trying to understand "Emotion" as the most worthless of English dictionary. I knew "perfection" was picking up. Who can laugh at the sky?

Passing the legacy of "calling for bandh"

Someone wrote on NE journo forum, “what the hell” in reaction to tomorrow’s Axom Bandh. Shyamanta Kashyap, President of Assam Welfare Society, has called for the Bandh. Whose footsteps is the 19-year-old Kashyap following? No prizes for guessing his daddy’s name. Yeah! The son of former CM of Axom, Mr. Prafulla Kumar Mahanta. The man who entered almost all levels of crime as a CM. From being accused as philanderer to Tea controversy and many more. In my knowledge, even as a school going child, I remember the State saw worst days in his tenures as the CM of Axom.

The fuss that he created during the Assam Movement was for power, with little or no public interest involved, he made fool of the entire community. Apparently, Mahanta’s followers even spat on a famous academician’s face for advocating English language and showing reasons on why we still needed English as the medium of instruction in government schools. Did we know his son, Shyamanta Kashyap, who’d called for the Bandh tomorrow went to Delhi Public School, New Delhi? Never knew DPS taught Assamese. Like his dad always preached regionalism and took utmost advantage of it. S*** is not the word for such hypocrisies. Shyamanta’s claim to fame is his NGO (Assam Welfare Society). But what would be the fate of our State, where NGOs and politician's son call bandh to launch to political career? This is not learning politics. Worse than that, this is passing the scoundrel’s legacy!

Surprisingly, 7^th April is the Foundation Day of ULFA (United Liberation Front of Assam). I felt terrible when a few people, (called themselves as citizens of an elite society) are trying to defend tomorrow’s bandh as a bandh called by the ULFA. This is not in defense of ULFA. This is in defense of Jr. Mahanta infant. It's in his gene; like father, like son… he is bringing back the "bandh culture".

But also like Abraham Lincoln said: You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

I mean to say goodbye

“Scratch your head, go mad, shout like hell, do watever it takes to get going, but get going,” my counselor turned astrologer said. Stars won’t help, if you want to be fooled. God gave you brains along with those stars:) Probably he wasn’t wrong when he said who can help me if I choose to be cheated and fooled? Is this a killing feeling? Will tell you what killing is.

Sometimes life hits you hard, and you don’t know how to overcome. The term with practicality loses, advice and suggestions sound irritating, you spend sleepless nights and anxious days. So, where is the solace?

Strategizing in real world? There isn’t any strategy to live life, since it’s not a game. But one last time, I want to follow a strategy of ‘Believing’. Believing in what I hate to believe! Believe that the basic facts of love were basic flaws. Believe that no human can be God and they lie tooJ

The killing is chewing lies coated with fleeting happiness. I definitely want to ‘believe’ in all the bad words now: hate, cheat, lie… donno. I will fight memories, but not these words again.

Happy Birthday

“Move on”, hearing this from my friends for years now… I always replied that with some philosophical (shit), is what they call itJ. When I suddenly felt I’m going to be 25 in next few days, I actually felt they weren’t wrong with their single best advice.

Other day, my father was telling me stories of my birth, and why everyone felt I couldn’t be their kid. There’s nothing that shouldn’t make me their daughter, (except my sharp nose) but there’s a lot that I did for them to reconsider me as the one.

At 25, I am trying to trouble “myself” with something else. The ‘self’, whom I have tortured for last 25 years and that I’ve never forgiven her. She can’t be wrong all the 100 times. I’ve no answers for making her pay for others’ mistakes. And each time I was wrong, I was honest too! I am actually sorry being sorry all the time.

The brownie points that honesty earned for me are over, my impulses, jealousy, inability to accept denials have taken them all. Why couldn't I follow some discipline? Why was I so damn lazy? Few days before my sis's wedding while arranging/cleaning my stuff, she got extremely fed up and screamed at a high voice, "why didn't grow up or you pretend to be a kid?"

At 25, I hate look into a mirror. I don't hate myself… Just that I can’t face the person with lesser success and lesser confidence. The face that couldn’t retaliate; couldn’t grab opportunities, couldn’t settle for the best, the face that never grew up... I own up to my mistakes, and hence, ‘moving on’.

My 25th B'day is very special to me. At last, I've recognized the warning signs in 'hopeless' relationships around me... now I am running before it's too late! Anu must be happy.

What makes them the most beautiful flowers on earth?

Because they sparkle brighter than the Koh-i-noor diamond!

Vitamin Ms: Make life 'no game'

The vitamins of life… important ones than those you get in pharmacies! You can’t chew them, you can’t swallow them, you can only live with them.

Vitamin M: Antidote to the killing M-word, marriage:)

The Vitamin-Mystery that keeps life goin’. Who wants all the answers in the world? How did you find out Santa wasn’t real? I only want to believe Santa isn’t a liar!

When Vitamin M improved it became Vitamin M2-Miracle, an antidote to all the other cruel M words… Miracles have a way of happening for those who believe in it, heard of this? I live* one every morning, and then think it’s a ‘WONDER’FUL world, now get going!

Vitamin M3-Maktub: It’s a quick pop-up just before the joy-ride to destiny.

Vitamin M4-Madness: It’s like my age-old chavanpras, makes me stronger against a hurtful environment. The obvious questions regarding life, reality, practicality, future and planning etc won’t trouble you anymore.

Vitamin M5: Mind! It’s all in M5 (the mind) actually.

A year back, I felt survival strategies are not what you want, they are what you need! I defy myself a year after. There's no strategy to live life, it’s not a game anyway!

*live: as you can't chew or shallow these

Unofficial love-affair: Who's luckiest among Bruni, Taslima and Sonia

When I didn’t know much about novels, I laid my hands on Lazza (Shame), Taslima Nasrin’s only book I ever read. Well, it was a great-read, but I liked the concept of a Muslim writer talking openly of anti-Hindu riot in her own country (Bangladesh).

The book subtly indicates that communal feelings were on the rise, the Hindu minority of Bangladesh was not fairly treated after the demolition of Babri Masjid in India. In 1992, when I was just 9 I guess, I funnily remember the whole name of the riot and still re-collect it that way, “Ram janambhumi Babri Masjid”. (Quite secular way to remember it) But little that I knew of that riot was, Muslims have butchered cows and threw cow fleshes in front of Hindu houses in some parts of India.

Taslima makes news in India once in a while, this time she made it bigger. She was forced to leave Kolkata after a protest by a Muslim organisation against her continued stay in India turned violent. Later, she was taken to AIIMS for being poisoned.

And what didn’t make news was, French President Nicolas Sarkozy not allowed to confer Prix Simone de Beauvoir (France's most prestigious literary award) to her on his visit to India.

Forget Taslima, she isn’t as lucky as Soniaji or Bruni anyway (Nothing fairer than white-skin in India) There’s a fundamental difference between Bruni and Taslima, which is why, both are haunted by the secular country… one to leave the country and other to visit the country. And hours before (Jan 26) French PM's scheduled visit to India, the suspense over his then girlfriend was killing. When Bruni begged off the ‘official’ trip of her PM bf on pretext of them being ‘not married’ disappointed the ultra kewl Indian diplomats. The same diplomats who ‘politely’ declined the conferment of top French award for Taslima during French PM’s visit.

Why: The event would attract opposition of Islamic groups. Indian Government also expressed the view that riots could flare up. As if they care so much about riots! Why wouldn't girlfriend accompanying French PM to India and posing in-front of Taj Mahal lead to unrest? Why Indian police raid hotels and public parks to arrest young couples? Can't they 'unofficially' express love?

What is so luring about white skin? Thank God Bruni didn’t come… or if she comes in the future, Soniaji should personally give a few tips to 'heart-wrecker Bruni' on how to (wo)man-handle Indian men.

Heard of a song? Mandir, Masjid, Girja Ghar ko baat liya Bhagvaan ne, Dharti baati, Sagar bata, mat bato insaan ko…