The graceful me?

No thanks! I would remain disgraceful if it requires me ‘do’ a Rekha, Hema Malini, Aishwarya Rai or Shilpa Shetty etc. Rekha for her bewitching beauty, Hema and Shilpa for breaking their beaus’ previous marriages. In general, it’s like a dwarf trying to touch the moon or me trying to ‘do’ a celeb - same thing!

I would rather ‘do’ a Sushmita, Bipasha or Nandita – again, not their beauties. May be a bit of Sushmita’s class, Bipasha’s confidence and Nandita’s intelligence.

There must be a politics behind one’s ‘grace’… a politics of cynicism? I keep referring to my J-school in almost all my postings, because that was also a place where I lived life to a fullest… for; its royale treatment once you stepped out of the class, not having to see any relative, meeting sweetest friends (and bitter ones who taught lesson for a life-time) and of course for ‘missing-and-catching-that-call’. But that was also a place where I had experienced the cynicism of those believed in an ‘uneven society’ – a strange unevenness that only acknowledged either fair skin or those with a defence background. (It’s a strong statement and I don’t want to lose my dearest friend, you know what I mean.). The cynicism grew, to a level that I had lost my interest in journalism… I had almost packed my bags. Later, the passion withstood cynicism.

I’d spent my early Delhi days as a compulsive-repulsive and last few days in Bangalore as a racist. In my 2nd innings in Delhi, I am also accused of practising communalism under the façade of rational secularism. But I have substantiated all my avatars with facts, reality and my own experiences. On the Dashera Day, I requested my colleagues to maintain Ravana as Ravana and not as Ravan… like Ram Setu gets an ‘H’ added on when I am on shift, to maintain the dignity of their places of origin.

Genealogy makes a difference? I can’t examine, I am no expert… But I strongly maintain my view on caste defining one's characteristics. I wonder why Sarah Palin’s case is different - a woman who could advocate to bear rapists’ child and yet being Princess Diana’s distant cousin. Beauty certainly, brains? Perhaps too much of hockey makes blueblood turn into black!

There are other differences. I have known people who turned down even a god for its North Indian looks. I have known people who defined ‘grace of a woman from her place of birth’. I have known people who restricted ‘ayurveda’ to a specific region.

I have not known anyone who didn't celebrate Booker winning Chennai born writer's ‘The White Tiger’ – the book that portrayed a dark side of North India; does corruption exist only in North India? As much as we celebrated the beauty of a down south Indian state, Kerala in "God of the small thing".

Personalise profit, socialise loss!

‘USSR is a place where no one had money’ is how I concluded communist economy as a kid, though the concept of kids have been changing world wide;-) I was as young as 8 then. It was also one of those years when India only dreamt of becoming a world power soon – post ’91, after a few economists held up the magic wands – in this context, magic words, such as globalisation, liberalisation and free trade etc.

Ours is even stranger, communist govt gets Tatas to set its people’s car plant in West Bengal, old Congress (Capitalist) loyalist drives Tatas back – the yet-to-born car got its home in Gujarat. They say, it’s way she’s making communist rulers taste the bitterness of their own medicine – once patented, now popular!

Yesterday, after the market bloodbath where the BSE Sensex crashed below 9K level, I headed straight to a panel discussion – to hear what they have to say. One of the panelists was the advisor to the finance minister.

I don’t understand much about market, my understandings of business journalism remained poor, despite my current craze for it. I find it easier to deal with spicy stories related Sensex than the facts & figures of Dalal St. Stories like hubby seeking divorce as wife loses 30L in market downturn excite me more.

Getting back to last evening’s panel discussion, where all the panelists echoed each other on Indian mass media being “clueless” about everything and follows each others’ competitors. It sounded as if Indian media created the havoc or could have stopped it. We don’t think so.

To go a li’l off-track and why Indian mass media still a world class, I must add an example. We have a few interns joined us a few days back from the Columbia School of Journalism and assigned to cover the Lakme Fashion Week. My collogue who supervises them had commented ‘assholes’, ‘they don’t know who Tarun Tahliani is, and here to cover fashion!’

In India, we know who Paul Krugman is. I’m not trying to compare the two, and even if I did… what’s wrong? At my tiny J-school, ‘Watergate scandal’ was taught as the first lesson. Is the media wrong in carrying Finance Minister's statement saying: ‘RBI will act swiftly when needed’. Or my naïve understanding says… RBI might be following the crowd – what China or Korea is doing with their real rates. Even as famous economist argues, “we are a strange economy; we follow the success tactics of all the countries and land no-where”

India booming stories are still doing the rounds… But the mighty DLF residents get to see a large slum across the road in Gurgaon, as one of examples of booming-dooming ratio. Amidst the global crisis, banks refuse to give home-loans to the commoners but the other day a paan masala king bought a car for Rs 2 cr to gift his daughter on her B’day. Did I hear someone saying, a perfect example of “personalise profit and socialise loss”?

While the RBI and the govt is going ga ga over its latest move on rate cut, surely the giant companies would incur huge credits from the international markets. At the bottom husbands will continue seeking divorce, or the wives – as and when they suffer from the high real cost of credits. So when FM's financial advisor suggests us to be less scholars and more humans... we know why economists should start speaking 'our' language!

Part 2: When life hurts, share a laugh!

It might look like one of those TV serials with reincarnation of a painful soul… as if life is still hurting and she's trying to share – a laugh, at least! It doesn’t hurt; I kept it for those whose lips itches to spread rumours like… “Poor X,Y,Zs cook her meal, carry her bag, take her to her grocery shop… what else? I feel like a Crownless Queen who has always enjoyed this world’s ‘unconditional love’ – for being “you know she has always been a shrewd girl”

Grrrrrrrrr, when do I get the status of a cunning woman? Haven't I already conned half the world by being shrewd, now that I can afford a cook, a servant and get my grocery home-delivered, what’s next? A Chauffeured-driven car? No, last year’s experiences have been bitter enough to not get into such adventures! Strictly.

A class of people never fell short on their motherhood statements, for the ‘common good of the society’, of course. I overhear them, not only because ignorance is bliss, but also because I understand their state of joblessness.

My ‘considerate-nature’ has always been mistaken as a weakness – let it sound like Buddha’s lady avatar speaking! Everyone with a motherhood statement, look back into old times… please prove me wrong, for once. Or, a few can consider clearing their debts, sans the interest?

The last compliment I got for my looks was this morning, before that, it was yesterday! Sorry for being flamboyant, but those who hate my FACE, and can't stop insulting me in public... please ignore me, because your obesity needs medical attention. More than I need your attention!

When life hurts, share a laugh!

The morning newspaper suggested so; I would share a blog instead, for four categories of people.

A, Those who lost touch with me years ago yet are bothered about me.

B, Those whom I am dying to say, “Please don’t call/ping me as I hate to bar/block anyone.”

C, Those who take the credits in “My Making”, and I never understood WHY?

D, Those who remained there and loved me for who I am – so when I started blocking my Gtalk contacts, only a handful remained. My friend from Hyderabad has already championed the art of Blocking-and-Unblocking:)

Dear all,

I can’t explain how beautiful my last evening was – the great food and drink added more to it but the retro journey was fabulous, to know if we did “the right things at the right time or not”.

For me, for the self-certified fool, “it has always been doing the wrong things.” My only breather was when one among the handful said “But you chose the right Prof to write your recommendation during your J-school admission.”

This time, it may not be the wrong time to ask a few people for a favour – those who didn’t need to talk against me as they don’t exist for me. Not because they have proved themselves to be pretentious human beings, who once claimed to change the world and now caught in their own little worlds. But because housewives (I don’t mind being politically incorrect in calling them housewives and not homemakers) can’t advice a journalist; it can’t get simpler.

A favour from those who thought to have spoon-fed and crawled along till I could walk – Well, it’s a popular myth, and I am running now. If they still suffer from such misconceptions then they should also be blamed for locking my mind – the mind that wouldn’t be a part of any fake intelligentsia, fake feminism, and fake secularism. For that matter, anything that was fake.

A favour from those whom I have forgiven for everything yet would hate to receive their calls or messages. I still don’t know whose virtue it was, and whose weakness.

That’s why when life hurts, unlike others I share a blog with those who simply hated my face, or with those whom it felt like the story of the Fox and the Grapes - It is easy to despise what you cannot get. Others would remain my Friends! Ah, the favour is the Foes and Foxes, please get the 'F' outta my life.

Cheers,
Me.

An eye for an eye, but Arjun is losing his sight

The national capital rocks again, the explosion that comes a fortnight after serial blasts, took place in South Delhi’s Mehrauli market area today afternoon. Like they warned “before the dust settles…”

Kolkata police took pride in finding a bag that shouts in BOLD letters “Explosives”. Delhi police went in casual outfits for one of the biggest terror encounters - The Shootout at Balta House. Following few days were like as if they were waiting for Delhi blasts to happen to catch terrorists “Thok Ke Bhav Mein” someone defined. At the wake of nation’s bitterness and frustration towards the Home Minister can get us terrorists-after-terrorists being held in Jamia Nagar, Azamgarh, Mumbai… Yet, they are successful in not letting the dust settled. Which is why, perhaps, Rahul Gandhi termed POTA a “useless” law. True and not just POTA, any law is toothless for the police and the govt we have.

Surprisingly only a tabloid asked why the police went to Batla House encounter sans their terror-gears. How the two other ‘suspected’ terrorists fled so easily from 4^th floor without any injuries? Why didn’t police let the media enter the house for hours after the encounter? The one answer for everything: We lost an eligible police officer in the encounter.

Is the govt caught between vote-bank politics and hopeless governance? While the Home Minister (in his own capacity) is trying to review Delhi’s security; Arjun Singh backs Jamia Milia Islamia University’s decision to support Delhi blasts’ accused. Is the so-called secular government is giving rise to terrorism… Don’t question them ’cos there’s no law, there’s only encounter. The govt gets the benefit of doubt, we die in blasts…

Lost in his home ground, yet playing a Home Minister…

He hopelessly watched Mumbai, Hyderabad, Jaipur, Bangalore, Ahmedabad burning and now Delhi. The terror agency who bears the responsibility for the latest Delhi blasts also warned, ‘before the dust settles…’ More to watch for? He doesn’t bother.

What does he care for? The day Delhi wore a deserted look; he was busy changing his looks! A TV channel captured the ‘hopeless’ Home Minister of India, Mr Shivraj Patil in 3 different dresses during a period of 4 hours on the day the capital rocked after 5 serial blasts.

Shivraj Patil enjoys an ‘unconditional’ love from the Congress Party, little lesser than Sonia, but he is important. So much so that even when the voters of his constituency, Latur discarded him in the 2004 elections, he got the second most important position in the Union Cabinet – Home Minister. He was elected to the Rajya Sabha later in the same year. There's nothing that can uproot Mr Shivraj Patil as he boasts "I've full blessings of Sonia Gandhi."   

As a part of my job, I edit our reader’s opinions, 9 out 10 letters today suggested the Home Minister's resignation, 8 out 10 asked why the US never faced a single terror attack since 9/11 and India lets the BAD operation (Bangalore-Ahmedabad-Delhi) a success? Uncountable letters screamed… “We need a law to counter terrorism”. 

BAD was SAD but we might have to ALPHABE(A)T with more of such blasts since the govt is busy singing 'Singh Is King', and the king (along with queen Gandhi) are busy singing 'Sweet Child' for Patil! 

Call for a fatwa against the global past-time, terrorism or anti-terrorism

Almost a month back an agency copy suggested news on a terror plot against the UK Queen. The copy came as ‘X’ terror cell 'may have been plotting to attack Queen'. One of the seniors peeped through my monitor and said, remove that ‘X’. I did so. If the ‘X’ is a religion, then it’s bad to club it with terrorism. This debate won’t get over. Like, I celebrate all the festivals of my country… Be it X’s or Y’s but when Salman Khan celebrates Ganeshutsav, religious leaders declares a fatwa against him.

I attended endless calls last evening, even the boss who calls only to shout at me, had spoken to me as if I was a blast victim. I guess, after each blast the cell phone service providers are benefited the most. But jokes apart, a friend over the phone said… “We are a nation of impotents, we deserved this.” I couldn't comment, neither am I a sexologist nor a National-Crisis expert. I am just a common Indian and I don’t want to die even if it means going to heaven.

Despite the fact that anti-terrorism strategies have become a global past-time, the govt is doing a great job to ensure our safety. We find posters carrying photos and profiles of terrorists in bus stops. Or we assume sticking poster across capital’s bus stops is govt’s new yet the alternative anti-terror strategy? Perhaps yes, but what’s wrong in reconsidering POTA (Prevention of Terrorist Activities)? After all, a ministry data says about 4000 people were booked and 800 arrested and jailed under POTA over a period of two years since it was enacted before the UPA govt had repealed it.

Common Indians like me are not against those posters; those security advice to combat terrorism, given almost everywhere – malls, buses, trains, schools, temples etc or dial 100 at seeing bomb-like-polythene-bags on roads - to make cell phone service providers richer. Alongside, We also want a law, if not POTA, an equally strong alternative law.