Explain: Why red is red?

You haven't lost your smile, it's under your nose

As much I love SRK, for his charming smile… I’m also fond of those oneliners that he throws once a while. The best quoted was by Anupama Chopra in her SRK biography. I may be stubborn and an idiot, but it works for me.

Trust me; it works tremendously to act like idiotic stubborn, times when you need to release yourself from suffocating situations. When you are suffocated with questions, and hate to answer them, being Shah Rukh can help you!

I mostly go stubborn and idiot when I need to defy the whole world for their valuable (yet free) suggestions. I listen to my heart when it’s a matter of my heart (The only time I do) and makes me superrrrrrrrr happy. From my heart to my happiness, I only need myself and none.

Today, while reading the newspaper, SRK's words caught my attention again. I don’t like being told what to do. Wonder why most people can’t value human liberty? It’s like you don’t want to be accountable for living your life. I can't explain why I am I am, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't know how to:(

Now I know why It’s my life is a sung-to-death song, and even non-english speakering junta try to sing it, if nowhere else than in bathrooms.

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted No silent prayer for the faith-departed I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd You're gonna hear my voice When I shout it out loud… It’s my life…

I can either shout or pee

Is silence a pan-Indian habit? I mean keeping quiet when one requires speaking out?

I have faced many, but the most recent was more itching than mosquitoes. It’s like this, you have spent a whole night in a non-AC bus and then in the morning before reaching your destination, you are asked to get down of the bus. Reason: There are only 9 odd passengers to that particular place in Kerala, and others are going somewhere else. So, you all better figure out your own ways… (They didn’t ask us to figure out ways, am only talking from their minds)

I guess it’s not about silence, as in what would you do when neither can you speak/understand the language nor could take the sh** of having to got down before your actual stop. I shouted! After all, it’s pissing (Hell, I needed to pee too after finishing a 10 hour long journey).

I shouted as I realized to express your anger you don’t need to know a language. It’s like language of love and vice versa. My act ashamed my friends, which I give a damn… But can’t give a damn to the popular silence.

I was asked to keep quiet as my friends felt those bus assistant would use abusive language on me. Let them, even I would if need be! A street fight is 100 times better than being silent over stupidity. Silence is as betrayal as a crime. Only in matters of heart, silence may help you. (Amen though)

When provocative Nobel Prize winner Orhan Pamuk stood against injustice and broke the silence saying that “one million Armenians and 30,000 Kurds were killed in those lands and nobody but me will talk about it,” he was charged with denigrating the Turkish national identity and insulting Turkishness. What Pamuk showed was that a human being cannot keep quiet and not be concerned about what is happening around.

Well, I am not trying to compare my tiny act with Pamuk’s greatness. But I am inspired of this outspoken writer, for his words that can speak too.

I've sinned

It's a big deal

A new question has cropped up. Is it due to vanity that I do not believe in the existence of an omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient God? I had never imagined that I would ever have to confront such a question, wrote Bhagat Singh (The freedom fighter)

And when read Bhagat Singh’s essay titled: Why I Am An Atheist? I questioned my own faith in God like an ardent believer and often resort to God with the hope that, she (God can be a woman as well) would wash my sins off, if I’ve sinned* at all. And who do God entertain? Like I wondered as a kid how are those marwaris so rich after conning people in the name of Goddess Laxmi. I saw them coming to temple everyday. When I scored less in school, I asked God why even after praying am scoring low, and those people are growing richer:) Aries kids are stupid anyways, I heard Hanuman was an aries too, and wanted to eat the Sun as a kid:)

Then, they kill in the name of God too. Gujarat of 2002 remained the greatest example of it. Why let humanity kneel in fear? Why let the whole universe tremble?

But who decides the wrongs and rights? Let me answer Bhagat Singh that I found an omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient God inside me. Vanity has nothing to do with this, conscience has! That decides everything, and answers us too.

Bhagat Singh later explained: 'Belief' softens the hardships, even can make them pleasant. In God man can find very strong consolation and support. Without Him, the man has to depend upon himself. To stand upon one's own legs amid storms and hurricanes is not a child's play. At such testing moments, vanity, if any, evaporates, and man cannot dare to defy the general beliefs, if he does, then we must conclude that he has got certain other strength than mere vanity.

Can we chain humans in the name of God? Some say God is Love apparently? Why do we hurt them then? Or expect so much because we thought we love them. I only felt let Humanity be the other name of God or Love or whatever.

Just loved these lines: मस्जिदें हैं नामाजियों के लिए अपने घर में कहीं खुदा रखना... Masjiden hain namaaziyon ke liye apne ghar mein kahin khuda rakhnaa

*Sinned: Sir Charles Napier, upon taking the province of Sindh said “I have sinned.” But he only meant, now I have sindh:)

Sunsign: Who shines in the morning

This will come handy in case you have broken up, or planning to do so. For example, if you are an aries, and going out with say a Taurus for many years, or you have presumed that you guys have been seeing each other. Read this for some sooting feeling...

Aries: I know, it will be hard for you, you will miss me, you'll suffer, you may possibly even fall to drugs. There's no other way I'm affraid. I'm leaving. Now you can commit suicide.

*I am an aries, come on, who wants the challenge?

Taurus: Should we reconsider it ? I think we should think it over again. Shall we go for a coffee and talk about it ?

Hmmm, My life-time experience says, they rarely consider, forget reconsidering

Gemini: Been scratching my head all day I forgot I had something to say. Ah, yes! We're breaking up. Ok got to go to the gym now.

Jaydeep, you surely did:) Rashmi, did you ever?

Cancer: I have something to say. Been thinking of it for the last 2 years but not sure still. I think I want us to break up. What do you think ?

Must not be untrue

Leo: You're still here ? Have I not broken up with you last week ? Eh? you're not John ? Oops sorry, well we're breaking up.

Donno

Virgo: We're breaking up. Just wash the dishes before you go. And don't forget to take the rubbish out too while you're leaving.

Hahahahaha, ran outta words. Virgos are good at scanning old bills after break ups. But one that I know have asked his ex girl to give back his book. Can you beat that:)

Libra: Basically, I have a relationship with another guy as well for the last 1,5 years. But I don't want to put a pressure on you. Take your time.

Majush, waiting for your expert comments plz

Scorpio: We may have broken up, I may even be seeing other people but YOU will see no one. EVER!!

Aha, yes yes, she went out with (donno how many) and blah blah... I won't name her!

Sagittarius: Come on now, breaking up ? Too much hassle. Leave it. Let's arrange some other time to talk about it.

Kunwar, just say yes to this:)

Capricorn: I've already seen my lawyer and the divorce papers are ready for you to sign. What ? We're not married ?

Sri, forgot the famous Capri:(

Aquarius: Message on the answer machine "My dear, I'm leaving for safari in Africa, I'll be back in 6 moths, so I guess we breaking up ?"

My aqua woman hanged on for several years, went through pain, disaster and what not, finally left a similar looking message

Pisces: Farewell my ultimate passion. Bye bye my biggest love. I have no tears to cry, no words to speak. I'm off for a drink.

Well, my fav Prof. (a piscean) is close-to this

Reference: Majush, my online zodiac guru from Singapore, putting this up without his permission:)

Going single: Don't read unless you're a smart woman

"It is only poverty that makes celibacy contemptible. A single woman of good fortune is always respectable."

I realized my essay writing ability is going down. I was thinking of a topic, just before my friend suggested, write on ‘being single’

It’s a bliss only smart women can realize… boasts my friend Devasmita. She gave me the pros (negligible) and cons (loads) of going single. I take her words. After all, she’s cherishing her singlehood for more than 2 years now.

Why in an independent country, we women often feel trapped? Go single; you would know what freedom is about. In a situation between so-called security (of having a guy) and freedom, I would choose the later and why?

1 You won’t have to lie to your boss to go out on a sudden date, hence; your appraisals won’t ever be a due.

2 You won’t feel bad when your counterpart don’t opt for a leave when you’re dying to go on a date.

3 You will not feel (bad/sad/scared) to switch off your cell phone when you are shit tired of work. No one’s there to accuse you, “where the F&%$ were you?”

4 You can wear anything and everything, (yes, the cleavage-showing dress too). The purpose of wearing the dress is not to impress anyone, just that you are fascinated to wear it.

5 Healthwise: It’s good. Now you can openly flirt, which means, more smile, more smile… more happy-ness, more happy-ness leads to a healthy long life:)

6 Healthwise 2: In case, you have been living in an insecurity due to your partner, you end up skipping your food, resort to alcohol. Situation: More alcohol, less food. Result: Bad health. Think of a reverse situation, just by flipping your status to a single.

7 Have you been hating to answer? Like I did. I mean, since the time we were born, writing answers for exams, answering our parents, at work, to bosses. Damn! Do you want to be answerable to more people?

8 It’s a feel good factor, trust me… and being single is an in-thing too. Like, if you have a maid, who is not married, ask her, she surely has a guy. And if she is married, ask her how many? What am sayin’ is almost everyone has a guy, why being everyone?

Singlehood comes with a bonus and how: Your parents’, whom you have boasted of your “new-found-guardian”, now know their kid daughter needs them; they will be more considerate with their cash, card, and time and love…

With love to all my friends who are getting married shortly, to have a husband is more than a bliss (I suppose)

Anyone Here Been Raped and Speaks English?

This question was shouted out to just rescued European survivors of a siege at Stanleyville in eastern Congo as they disembarked from US Air Force C-130s landing. It’s a title of war correspondent Edward Behr's memoirs.

When I studied journalism, this used to be the text book for the “Ethics of journalism”. When I read it then, I almost felt, this was most hyped book ever. But when I practiced journalism though briefly, that too for a tabloid, I realized, the book was a true account.

Selfishness is what defines many things, in most professional as well as personal lives. Just remembered my DU prof. often preaching on the virtue of being selfish. But what about being harmful while achieving those virtues?

The morning followed by Benazir Bhutto's assassination, who expected to see Dhirubhai Ambani on the front page of India’s apparently-highest-circulated-newspaper? Bhutto who was known for her secular credentials in Muslim-dominated Pakistan. Is that the kind of responsibility we carry for our neighbouring country?

Let's talk of ultra publicity then, like the the free publicity Indian media gave to the 'Nano'! Even Rajnikanth's Shivaji had not got so much of it. Only a part of foreign media told us that most-loved 'Nano' may not meet International standards of fuel-emission, to add more to the air pollution.

And of course, how can we forget a reporter asking a son after his father was dead in the Rajdhani train accident in 2003: “How are you feeling?” Waw! We were told, there are no stupid questions, there can be only stupid answer… Anyone wants to contest this:)

For once it made sense...

Wings of dream: Angels can fly because they carry no burdens

What you said on a lazy Sunday, is the only thing making sense to me today. "What you expect from God, don't expect from human being". Thanks uncle!

It takes a lot to be a daughter, and much more to be a mother

Every child is special, so is every mother

A great saint once suggested, "why should we talk ill of her, who gives birth to kings”… We are only killing her. Recently I was reading a report of what they call a ‘landmark case’. For the first time in India a court has taken assessment of psychologists who counseled a rape victim as evidence. It’s a story of a daughter who was repeatedly raped by her father when she was little over 10 years. For me, it’s a ‘case of landmark’ because her mother stood by her.

40 per cent of married Indian women regularly experience spousal violence in India. Where women don’t stand by women against men’s violence, and where most women don’t even utter a word against their husbands; there, a mother fights for her daughter’s justice, indeed is a marker. The mom further recalls, “the cops often asked me to drop the case after my husband falling at my feet in their presence.” And sent her husband to seven years rigorous imprisonment on December 21st, 2007. (A verdict by a Delhi court).

In our country, 2000 girls go missing, 50 are raped and 480 subjected to molestation and abduction everyday. The silent victims of societal prejudice, this has resulted in a drastic imbalance in the sex-ratio between girls and boys. Surprisingly, the ratio is more evident among the educated, urban and well-to-do families.

No one expects this statistics to help much; domestic violence is raising more with education. The old saying turns true many times, Women can be their own worst enemy. But what about being your own enemy? Is there a ‘martyr’ image associated in being assaulted, kicked, slapped and rapped by men and yet keeping quiet? I felt yes! And what image do we wear, when we’re cheated by men? Perhaps, an idol of love. This time, I just want to sing loud with Bob Marley: Get up, stand up: stand up for your rights!

In the game of sincerity, I always lost

They blamed me of outsourcing tension (that’s what my friends call it). I just don’t understand why I can’t take things as matters of life or death? Like most of them, as if the world gonna crumble today, or be skeptical about the world around as if everyone is a criminal:)

I wish I could shiver at my boss's chilly questions (come on they are chilly), like all the others' in the office.

Damn, why didn’t I get scared of walking alone on a street where almost every man was out with Arak. “Baba can’t u call that Chinappa (the watchman) to pick u up; do u want me to die of a heart attack?” No, I didn’t want him to die.

But then, I laughed at my dean’s concern when I reached hostel in midnights. Why can’t I take life seriously, what if someone had abducted me? No, I have full faith in my quality of being irritating. I would always be dropped back safely by my kidnappers:) All my buddies from IIJNM know, why not calling Chinappa was a right decision anyday... He was a watch-man in real sense:)

“Barsha, start taking of life seriously, think of getting married… how long will u be like this?” I don’t remember who all said this to me, and how many times? God, send me some pills of sincerity plz!

I was (un) fortunate enough to come across a bugger, who suffered from a huge complex. Didn’t know which one; inferiority or superiority? Despite, him having an atrocious accent, (forget language) he just couldn’t correct himself. Okie, for this I blame (or thank) my dad. He always says, with fools u shouldn’t try winning pettiest of battles. Dad, now I've lost the spirit of winning itself. I am just fine by anything and everything. Guess what? That jackass not just won all the time but also turned me into a racist.

One of my trade secrets at the TPO (Tension Process Outsourcing): Just leave an sms saying, am taking 10 sleeping pills and then switch off your phone. My only misfortune is, my client understood the trick and stopped buying it. Whatever said and done, I love my business of outsoucing tension, it gives me a goodnight sleep:)

Love hurts and how it does!

You weren’t there, when I needed you most

And time convinced me that, you won’t be there, when I would need you most

You fail to see my tears, you fail to see my smile

You don’t understand a bit

You aren’t as crazy I am, as I was

I stand next to all your preferences (material and otherwise)

You never correct me, or you don’t have the courage to correct me… You tried to find a good riddance in my mistakes

You don’t remember a bloody thing about us

You don’t die to see me, you don’t die to meet, and you don’t die to talk to me

AND YOU NEVER SAW THE SUNSET WITH ME AS YOU HAD PROMISED

Why I hate to be a journalist?

A student survival guide: To Kill a Mockingbird, is one of my favourite books

Very strong words… hate and journalist. Let me rephrase, why I hated to be a journalist after I joined a J-School? Well many reasons. I mistook or assumed journalism to be bold, true, loud and straight from the heart. It wasn’t so. It was a business of show-off, ultra-strong attitude and cowards.

I have seen people, at the J-school and outside, who kept quiet at obvious injustices. I know I am no one to judge what’s fair and what’s not. But when I said, they were obvious, they actually were obvious.

I felt, I was better as a wannabe journalist in DU. I wrote from heart if nothing else. Naming my Dean (Prof. Sagar) responsible for my disinterest in journalism isn’t a bold, I know. But inking on how he did it, would be speaking my mind out loud.

It took me days to figure out a Journalism school in India to study, took me months to convince my father to pursue it further. I did all successfully and got myself enrolled. In just a few months, my passion went to dogs. I don’t hold him responsible for not making me a good journalist (Probably, I wasn't meant to be), but definitely for killing a 'passion'.

He killed each POTENTIAL, INTERESTING, IMPORTANT stories of mine, with no valid reasons. How I wished, Aamir of Taare Zameen Par lived in every teacher’s heart.

By the way, I was kidding when I said, I was not meant to be good journalist. I still am. We live in Ekta Kapoor’s world of tele-soapism, everyone gets a re-birth, so was my passion:) There indeed was an Aamir of Taare Zameen Par in KP. He might have forgotten, but I remember him saying I can be a good journalist. This man knows to nourish every passion, his own and all the others with him. And from him I’ve learnt, it’s important to be a good human than a good ‘anything else’. Thanks KP.

The Touch of Madness

My share of madness: When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am

With due respect to those who don’t have it and those who pretend to have it. I have categories a few friends who bear a touch of madness to the utmost…

She claims to be my friend turned sister, but I saw her being my ringmaster in many occasions. It takes a lot to hang on to me, she did. However, this doesn’t make her mad. What makes mad is, her ‘passion’. When I saw Serendipity and heard this: You know the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: "Did he have passion?" I remembered Anu. She has always remained a woman of word as much as a woman of passion.

Can you ever vanish one fine day with few hundred rupees in your hand without knowing how to come back? And all because you were madly in love! Sri did it. Guess what? She still cherishes that. Of all the madness of hers that I have experienced, she did ‘things’ that she believed. So what if we have scored badly in J-school, if ‘journalism’ requires crazy ideas, we possess them too.

When I met her after three years, she was still the same. I didn’t feel lost anywhere, I felt the same connectivity. Pragya, one of my best friends, knows how to unleash herself. No one can touch your heart to the deepest, like she does! Understands every bit of human emotions and just ignorant to the cunning world. Touch of madness can alter her name. This cute thing of mine is almost like… let them cheat me, as long as am happy!

Rechristened himself to Vodka, Peter Scotch (Donno how he handles both, I would puke immediately). The gigantic Abhirr is a true journalist in my mind. Lives for journalism, booze, food (of course). Never seen anyone with a heart of gold, I believe he has one with diamond. One gotta be mad to make everyone comfortable around you, unless he is a magician.

How do we live in a world of pessimism, where dreams shatter much before one realizes it was a dream? All my ‘mad’ friends know how to turn them into optimism, they collected pieces of their crushed dreams… sometimes pasted them together, sometimes hidden them inside a treasure of memory. But they all inspire me to remain ME forever!

To be special or to be not!

Last evening was nice, going by my usual Sunday standards... Spending time with a friend at Cafe Coffee Day sipping s(h)ame old Cappuccino. We discussed almost everything; food, drinks, spelling and pronunciations, job etc. Suddenly my friend asked me what makes me special?

Well, it's a BIG question. I always thought, I'm a very special person, and a lot of things that I die to see in others are in me. Am I flaunting?

2008, unlike all the astrology sites claimed, has not been a hunky-dory year in last 14 days. So, I gonna list down the best qualities in me, as a 'feel-good' factor, and I know my post won't be used for matrimonial purposes :) And I must show the flip sides of having those 'qualities'

Being candid: Not the best thing to be! You will be cheated almost all the time. You will feel terrible, but then old habits die hard, and you would remain candid forever, and u'll be cheated forever too :(

Understand everyone: Should not, why? Because when you understand everyone, or pretend to understand them to make them feel better. There comes a time when people start thinking you were born to nod your head.

Always say 'Yes': Don't say yes, unless you have in abundance. Some will go to 'coma' when u are in need.

When u stand by them: Naturally you expect them to stand by you. (Unless you are God) and would be hugely disappointed to see them joining hands with your 'trouble-makers'.

But heck! 'Imwhatiam', I would still want remain 'special' with being candid, wish to understand everyone, always want to say 'yes' even when I don't have and will stand by them. So, I have decided to keep away those who have the potentials to make me un-special in the future.

Those white orchids are for my dearest friend's mom and her good health.